The Daily Sports Tome

The Irony Is Thicker Than Britney Spear's Waist...

2007-09-20T22:07:00.000-04:00

"Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, eat twinkies every day."

Did you ever hear the story about the guy who spent months writing through the unquestionable worst time in the sporting year, but then when something interested actually happened went silent? It's a funny one...

The triple whammy of engineering school work, actually having sports to watch, and applying for an exciting (though non-paying) writing gig have conspired to keep me pretty silent for awhile. I've got a free half second though, so I'm going to try to hit everything I want to get done right here in this post. It's go time.

A Wiki-What

1. Hired after Florida gave up 62 points to Nebraska in the 1996 Fiesta Bowl, Bob Stoops was given carte blanche over the Gators defense and that season, he was part of the Gators' 1996 national championship over Florida State.

"But we payed good money to get that call!"

2. From his days as a football player at Iowa, Bret Bielema has a two-inch tattoo of a Tiger Hawk (Iowa's logo) on his calf, which he has stated he will not remove, despite being the coach of the Big Ten-rival Wisconsin Badgers.

"Your not doing that to my wife just for a few holding calls."

3. While at Salem and Samford, Terry Bowden coached quarterback Jimbo Fisher to a NCAA Division III National Player of the Year award.^[6] Fisher later became quarterbacks coach for Bowden at Auburn, and after much success as the offensive coordinator for LSU, is now the offensive coordinator at FSU for Bobby Bowden.

"Dag Gummit, how much did Pops used to pay them?"

Top 5

"I always love a good manly pre-game hug."

"Your going to try to throw how many picks today?!"

"I see your right hand is a extra happy to see me."

"Nah, that Peyton kid will never make our career totals looks embarrassing."

"We'll just blame it all on a sub-par supporting cast, OK?"

Deep Thoughts with Tired, Out of Idea Guy (a new feature invented out of laziness)

1. Why couldn't OJ have decided it was a good idea to jack all of his memorabilia back during the summer when I was desperate for material. I'm beginning to think that guy doesn't care about anyone but himself.

"If the glove don't fit, then OJ is still a murdering scumbag."

2. I believe the term Art Shell Face should now be an accepted phrase for all sports fan's to know. For those not in the know it was coined by Bill Simmons to describe how Art Shell looked on the sideline during a game. Basically, it means you stare randomly off into space and look incredibly depressed/disconnected from reality. Watch Randy Shannon, Miami's new football coach, I believe he owes Art Shell some royalties because he uses is 24/7. He emotes about as much as Britney Spear's avoids Krispy Kreme.

Randy Shannon immediately after sleeping with Giselle and Tom Brady

3. Anyone else notice that the current top 5 rated passers in the NFL are respectively: Tom Brady, Tony Romo, Jeff Garcia, Jack Delhomme, and Matt Schaub. There draft positions were 6th round, undrafted, undrafted, undrafted, and 3rd Round. This obviously proves that you should never invest a first round pick in a quarterback. Teams should probably look elsewhere early in the draft. Like Fullback or Punter. Now those are game changers.

"I hope T.O. doesn't out me to."

That's it! Were done! This post is 100% over! I win! Good night Canada! Enjoy this.

Time Keeps on Slippin' (Slippin' Slippin' Slippin')....

2007-08-30T21:38:00.000-04:00

"Whenever Engineering HW is involved...."

Not much time to work this week. But I would like to ask the following.

Anyone ever meet a football coach who plays the game two plays at a time?

Me neither.

Mega Mock Mania

2007-08-26T15:18:00.000-04:00

3 Mock Drafts. Simultaneously Done. ESPN.com. Gotta Move It Quickly. Thank God For Dual Monitors.

Round 1

Looks like I'm picking 5, 5, and 8. That gives me some time to watch some more of the great thespian performed experience known as Malibu Most Wanted.

Joseph Addai (The safest of the tier 2 backs in my opinion), Joseph Addai (Peyton Manning assures good production from every player on the team), and Rudi Johnson (will only score 10 TD's when he could easily be given 15-18) (Addai went 3rd in my 8th pick league).

Round 2

Cedric Benson (After the top 15 picks I really don't like any of the next coming veteran backs), Cedric Benson (I still don't like him), Ronnie Brown (will have a very solid year due to better line-play, QB play, and Cam Cameron)

Already there are missing people in all the drafts.

Round 3

Thomas Jones (Until I know more about his injury I'm keeping him in this area, WR's are tempting though), Torry Holt (it was either him or Edgerrin James, I can wait on a 3rd back), Cedric Benson (Here, I'm more or a fan of his).

Round 4

Larry Fitzgerald (An insane talent that hopefully wont be held back by Ken Whisenhunt) ,Larry Fitzgerald (Leinart is going to throw 20-25 TD's and there aren't many people to catch them) ,Larry Fitzgerald (10 TD's is completely reasonable).

I love me some Pittsburgh WR.

Round 5

Adrian Peterson (I don't want him to be my 3rd back, or to take him the 5th round, but I have no choice), Adrian Peterson (here he is my 4th back and there are plenty of good #2 recievers left so I'm much happier), TJ Houshmandzadeh (you know he's going to get about 80 yards a game as the possession reciever)

Round 6

Andre Johnson (always gets lots of receptions and have a good pre-season QB), Andre Johnson (Shaub did manage to get 300 yards against New England once during one of their bad D spells) ,I lost this draft and can't get it back. Marshawn Lynch was the pick.

Round 7

Tony Romo (someone has to throw TO his TD's), Phillip Rivers (I went for him over Romo, they should be about the same even though the Chargers will score more points.

Round 8

Jon Kitna (year 2 with Air Martz is going to be better, not great, better), Tony Romo (got him anyway)

Round 9

Matt Leinart (I don't like having the WR and QB, but hes good and 3rd string), Eli Manning (I hate him so much, but he's the best pick here with Leinart gone)

Round 10

Jay Cutler (why not?), Vincent Jackson (the #1 receiver in a good offense, and he's improving)

Round 11

Santonio Holmes (that's a heck of a 4th WR with who my first 3 are), Santonio Holmes (a very solid #4 wide receiver)

Round 12

Jason Witten (a good solid TE who has better upside than my stand-by Dallas Clark who has to split a bigger pie so many ways), Jason Witten (the guy should have never dropped to the 3rd round coming out of Tennessee)

Round 13

Brandon Marshall (a good potential steal who Jay Culter loves throwing too, the #2 reciever in Denver now), Brandon Marshall (his physical skills are off the charts)

Round 14

Chargers Defense (that's great in Round 14 with the players and scheme they have), Broncos Defense (Champ Bailey and Dre Bly, that's deadly)

Round 15

Broncos Defense (This defense is going to be good, I always hope there still here), Cowboys Defense (with Wade Phillips around their sack numbers should go up along with their picks)

Round 16

John Kasey (he's good at 50+ and who really cares anyway), John Kasey (give me any kicker really, i spend about 30 seconds a week worrying about them)

So after one draft crashes this is how the two remaining teams looks.

Team 1

QB: Tony Romo, Jon Kitna, Matt Leinart, Jay Cutler
RB: Joseph Addai, Cedric Benson, Adrian Peterson
WR: Torry Holt, Larry Fitzgerald, Santonio Holmes, Brandon Marshall
TE: Jason Witten
DEF: Chargers, Broncos
K: Jason Kasey

Not enough backs, but there was no one left worth taking. Hello waiver wire.

Team 2

QB: Phillip Rivers, Tony Romo, Eli Manning
RB: Joseph Addai, Cedric Benson, Thomas Jones, Adrian Peterson
WR: Larry Fitzgerald, Andre Johnson, Vincent Jackson, Santonio Holmes, Brandon Marshall
TE: Jason Witten
DEF: Broncos, Cowboys
K: John Kasey

I'm still not happy with my backs on this team.

So what do i get for this? I completed 2/3 so that's a solid D. That's we in the biz call a passing grade. So until next time, enjoy not wasting your time reading this.

Just remember, don't take fantasy football too seriously because...

Shut the Fact Up!

2007-08-23T22:39:00.000-04:00

You know what happens when our consecutive days your guitar hero guitar you just received goes kaput and then your bike breaks while your riding it? You get in a really crap mood that is only heightened by spending upwards of $400 on books for class. The only thing I feel like doing right now is screaming, but you all don't care you want jokes and entertainment. I'm not mocking (drafts) today though, I'm hitting you up with a dose facts you never knew before courtesy of the greatest tome of knowledge known to man: Wikipedia.

All the entries are pulled directly from the site and are only edited for clarity in names and events. Let's get moving.

#1 Brett Favre was the second of four children and attended Hancock North Central High School where he played baseball and football. Favre started for the Hancock North Central baseball team as an eighth-grader and earned five varsity letters. He played quarterback, lineman, strong safety, placekicker and punter in a primarily option, run-oriented offense coached by his father, Irvin Favre.

Even his father knew not to let him throw the football.

#2 Favre began his freshman year at Southern Mississipii as the seventh string quarterback and took over the starting position in the second half of the third game of the year against Tulane on September 19, 1987. Favre, despite suffering a hangover from the night before and vomiting during warm-ups, led the Golden Eagles to a come-from-behind victory with two touchdown passes.

"Come on. Some defender get open."

#3 According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel and other sources, during the physical after the trade to the Packers, Brett Favre was diagnosed with avascular necrosis, the same degenerative hip condition that ended Bo Jackson's career, and doctors recommended he be failed. Wolf overruled them.

"Oh Crap, better hurry up and throw this pick before I get hit!"

#4 According to Michael Holley's book Patriot Reign, the Patriots were considering Tom Brady and Tim Rattay in the 2000 NFL draft, both of whom had received positive reviews from then quarterbacks coach Dick Rehbein.

Tim Rattay's lack of goat love turned the Patriots off.

#5 Tony Romo was born in San Diego, when his father was serving in the United States Navy, but his family returned to their home in Burlington, Wisconsin when he was 2 years old. Playing quarterback for the Burlington Demons his junior and senior year of High School, he was unable to lead the team to a winning record, though he did make the All-Racine County football team and was honorable mention all-state in basketball.

"Hey, why aren't you staring at me? Carrie Underwood ain't got it like it got it."

That's it. This is the end of the article you were looking for. Is KFC still open?

To Kill A Mocking Draft

2007-08-21T22:22:00.000-04:00

The one place where a man ought to get a square deal is in a courtroom, be he any color of the rainbow, but people have a way of carrying their resentments right into a jury box. As you grow older, you'll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don't you forget it - whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash. ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, Chapter 23, spoken by the character Atticus

Early in the history of fantasy football racism was wide spread. Weird rules such as, "the white man always get Jim Brown," were constantly ruining the game. Today, racial harmony abounds after the efforts of Atticus Finch in the famous "Scopes LT2 Trial". To celebrate the harmony, it's time for another Mock Mock Draft. Let's get moving.

The waiver wire was not always so clean and simple...

Round 1:

This could actually end up being Mock Draft 1 Directors Cut. I've got the top pick again. And it's LT2 of course. Choosing LT2 is like Halle Barry. Just do it.

#2 Steven Jackson
#3 Larry Johnson
#4 Frank Gore
#5 Joseph Addai
#6 Shaun Alexander
#7 Brain Westbrook
#8 Willie Parker
#9 Peyton Manning (always somebody...)
#10 Willis McGahee (huh?)

Not a single auto-pick in round 1. A true Christmas miracle.

Round 2:

I can only hope a good back falls to me at #20 overall. Commence praying. The Greek God of Fantasy Football Drafts is Pluto. Not alot to do but play FF in Hades.

1 pick from getting Ronnie Brown. Gotta take Cedric Benson again.

Round 3:

Thomas Jones. So far I'm 3/3 copying last time. I keep getting the feeling that I should be picking a top WR there though. I just see too many other true #3 or possibly #2 backs sitting down below Thomas Jones.

Round 4:

I'm hoping for Houshmandzadeh and Boldin in 4 and 5. And yes, I know how to spell Houshmandzadeh from my head.

I can't believe how highly Marques Colston is rated. I would never take him in front of the guys I'm hoping for. People taking him in Round 4 I believe are going to be disappointed. Not very, just some disappointment.

Roy Williams. I didn't think he would still be around when I was praying to Pluto.

Round 5:

Anquan Boldin, everyone's favorite 5.6 40 WR.

Round 6:

Come on Adrain Peterson. I need Adrian Peterson like a fat kid needs a well balanced diet and exercise program.

Already gone. Someone jumped 10 spots down in the rankings and took him.

Hines Ward. I took him over Santana Moss because he is more consistent which is what I want out of a bye week back-up with some elite receivers starting. Maybe Santana Moss would have been better though...

Round 7:

Jamal Lewis. I just couldn't take Ladell Betts. I just see him and Portis sucking it up splitting carries all year as neither gets hurt. I just know Jamal is going to suck it as the starter for the browns probably anyway though. It's all hope at this point. It's a fourth back though. How good does he have to be?

Still no computer pickers. This is amazing.

Round 8:

Ward has averaged 8.6 TD's the last 5 years and is only 31. Plus Roethlisberger will likely play better this year than last which will help Ward catch more than the 6 he caught last year (11 in 05). I feel good about that now.

I'm two picks from getting Laddell Betts. Praise be to Pluto.

Nevermind. He went. Back to plan B. Leinert and Culter. QB's have been going earlier than before so no Romo and Rivers.

Boom! Matt Leinert.

Round 9:

Boom! Jay Cutler. That's a good 1-2 Platoon.

2 Auto-pickers now. Still pretty good if 80% are still present.

Round 10:

Bernard Berrian. I'm just lukewarm on everyone else.

Round 11:

Michael Turner. Handcuff pick. I don't know why I did that though. I don't even really believe in handcuff picks.

I'm drafting like a dumbass right now.

Round 12:

I can't decide between Santonio Holmes and Calvin Johnson. It's my 5th WR so I think its time for a risk with the man who surely is using some of his signing bonus to kill Reggie Ball.

3 Auto-pickers. Still not bad.

They stole Calvin Johnson. I will never forgive that. I had to take Jason Campbell, who I believe will play well this year, here.

Round 13:

Jason Witten. Best TE I've gotten in these Mock Mock Drafts so far.

Round 14:

Denver Broncos D. Gonna be good.

Round 15:

Dallas Cowboys D. Gonna be good.

Round 16:

John Kasey. The good old long bomber.

That's it. I'm 100% done mocking this draft up. After seeing my skills in action your welcome to hire me for your draft for the low price of $250 an hour. Just call 1-800-DRAFT-ME. Guaranteed to be almost as good as throwing your money into a fiery pit.

Mocking My Mock Mock Draft

2007-08-20T22:42:00.000-04:00

Mock Fantasy Football drafts are great for learning. You see where players will likely be picked, get a chance to study team's rosters, and begin to get a feeling for how you want to play your real draft by drafting from numerous different draft positions. Unfortunately, they also have a tendency to make you miserable. Consider this scenario from earlier this week. I do a mock draft and besides some pretty good backs (Joseph Addai, Ronnie Brown), my receiver corps were the greatest I would have had in my 7 year fantasy career. We're talking...

Terrell Owens

Roy Williams

T.J. Houshmandzadeh

with Kevin Curtis backing them up for bye weeks. I would kill to actually have this in addition to my crazy QB rotation (Phillip Rivers, Matt Leinert, and Tony Romo). Unfortunately it was all just make believe.

So to avoid that great heart break, I've decided today to attempt to distance myself from the preceding further than before. I'm doing a mock mock draft. It's a not a real mock draft. I'm just seeing how normal mock drafts are going. That way when I mock draft I'll be better prepared to deal with my mock draft which will help me prepare for my real draft. Let's get to it thanks to ESPN.com easy mock draft system (really its nice and easy, there not paying me).

Round 1:

I received the first pick in the draft and selected T.J. Duckett. I see a bright future for him in whatever place he's currently playing 3rd string. I can see him being a back-up by Week 10. Or maybe I did the obvious and took LT. You'll never know...

From that point on it goes Steven Jackson, Larry Johnson, Frank Gore, Shaun Alexander. After the top 2 picks its really all the same to me with Larry Johnson maybe slightly better. I just don't like people who holdout, play with bad QB's, carry the ball 400+ times, and act like their gangsters when there from Happy Valley, Pennsylvania.

I'm just hoping Travis Henry somehow drops to me at the the 20th overall pick which he might because somebody who really doesn't understand fantasy football always takes Manning in round 1 and some other fool always hops at the chance for Brady in Round 2. Its running back-running back 98% of the time. It has to be if you want the best chance to win your league. This is not an arguable point.

Round 2:

Did I say espn.com was great for this. Well it is when people actually show up. It's ridiculous with mock drafts every five minutes and easy to get into that people would ever miss round 1. If people miss more than 1 or 2 of these past round 7 or 8 they should be banned.

Travis Henry. 2nd ranked back left. 5 picks to go.

No Henry. I took Cedric Benson. At least he's unquestioned starter on a decent team.

Round 3:

Deuce McAllister. I probably should have taken a WR, but if on the way back I can get Adrian Peterson I'm going to be stacked. I really don't know what I was thinking though. Chad Johnson was mine. With LT I can deal with a bad 3rd back. (The pick was suppose to Thomas Jones, but it glitched and crashed and autopicked for me)

It's moving fast because there are so many autopicks now.

Round 4/5:

I just outdid myself. I got T.O. and Larry Fitzgerald. I'm so happy. This Mock Mock Mock Mock draft is going to so well. I can't wait to Mock Mock Mock Draft for real.

Round 6/7:

Adrian Peterson and a now very undervalued Santana Moss. He could have a big bounce back year. A healthy Peterson is also a major stud (Yes, I would use him to bred me new running backs so the term is correct).

Round 8/9:

YEAH! One actually person left drafting. Me. I guess my skills just ran everyone else off. This should go real fast.

Romo and Kitna at QB. I just keep getting this nagging feeling that Mike Martz is unstoppable. He has his old stand by (Roy Williams) , his rookie (Calvin Johnson), and his random veteran QB (Jon Kitna). He's just missing a Marshall Faulk, but Kitna can still throw for alot of yards if not as many TD's with the parts he has.

Round 10/11:

Still got Leinert and added Tatum Bell. Moving so fast.

Round 12/13:

Dallas Clark (always a good top 10 TE) and Jay Cutler. I can't turn down a good QB. I now have 4. Screw D and Kickers.

Round 14/15:

Broncos D (they'll be really good, trust me) and the Cowboys D (they'll be really good, trust me)

Round 16:

And my kicker. Good old long bomber John Kasey.

And were done. My heart is not aching over losing this awesome team. I feel good. Time to move up a level. I gotta get Mock Mock Mock Mock Mock Mock Mock drafting in a hurry so I can work up to my real draft. So until next time, this was a waste of your time.

It's Time! It's Time! It's Blog Member Update Time!

2007-08-19T12:10:00.000-04:00

I know, how disappointing. I single tear for whatever good article you were expecting here instead. It's time for the bi/tri/quad-weekly blog member update. During the last two months since this site was created a posse of elite people have slowly become official blog members, and I feel that it is important that you, the esteemed reader, stay up-to-date on what is going on behind the scenes here at the Sports Tome. So there is no point in dilly-dallying anymore. Let's get going. It's Blog Member Update.

Official Sports Tome Chick

You shouldn't sit on a table like that.

Besides making numerous public appearances in order to help hype up her new favorite sport's website, Jenna Jameson has been busy trying to find someone to play her in a movie. My first goes towards Jessica Simpson. Not because she looks alot like Jenna, but because every guy on the planet would love to see her in the inevitable outfits (or lack there of) that this movie would entail. Barring that great occurrence, they might as well just cast Fergie if she can act. Give her some plastic boobs and she doesn't look that much different from Ms. Sports Tome 2007.

Her Daddy Told Her So Apparently.

Official Sports Tome Bodyguard

I bet he gives a mean back massage.

Since completely demolishing his first opponent in his MMA debut, Kimbo Slice has been busy getting ready to embarrass Tank Abbott, but he received a huge honor this week for his past work. CBSsportsline.com head complainer Greg Doyel put Kimbo on the list of the top 10 people in MMA he would not want to be stuck fighting. After speaking with Kimbo though, I can tell you he is none to happy about being put #4 on the list. This will only serve to motivate him more to destroy ever enemy of this blog to show the world that he is the most fearsome fighter ever to beat people up in backyard boxing matches.

Official Blog Defense Team

Apparently the turtles have been training with Barry Bonds.

As explained previously, Kimbo Slice is both a very busy man and not trained to battle scores of ninjas. This lead to the creation of the official blog defense team which is currently staffed by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Initially Jenna Jameson offered her posse of pornstars up to fill this role, but fearing a team of gay ninjas may some day attack rendering them useless, I had to turn down the offer. When not defending the Sports Tome, lately the Ninja Turtles have been focusing on releasing their exploits in 1080p. You can never really appreciate a genetically malformed martial arts practicing half-shelled reptile between the ages of 13 and 19 til you see it in true high definition. I've always said that to anyone who would listen. Also, whenever they enter a room to see me, it goes exactly like this...

I'm currently scouting the blog minor leagues for additional members to call up to help make this site as best as possible. Until then these are the people who help make this site what it is. So if sucks, blame them.

Michael Vick

2007-08-17T23:05:00.000-04:00

Go to all your favorite sports sites and read about this guy.

Then think to yourself. What GM would big enough these to think of signing this guy out of jail?

All I can say is it's finally a decent day to be this guy...

Because until your posse flips on you over the Vegas shooting your now the second biggest NFL suspended criminal. Congrats.

He's not the only one who should be happy though. It's a beautiful day for the dog community. Canine Jesse Sharpton Coulter is I'm sure very pleased.

These Five Things I Know Are True...

2007-08-16T15:57:00.000-04:00

First things first:

-Jason Whitlock is back writing again which means you should be back reading him again. One of the best writers on the Internet.

-This video is great. Simply because at the end all the guys completely ignore the girl who banged her head.

-Time magazine breaks down Barry Bonds from the start of his career to now in pictures.

Lets get busy with the business of the day now. It's time to gather five things you never knew from the greatest deposit of human knowledge man has ever created, Wikipedia. All of the facts are pulled directly from a page on the site and edited only to make people, places, and events more clear. Let's get moving.

#1 Dan Patrick was a basketball player in high school, becoming an Ohio all-state selection his senior year. He attended Eastern Kentucky University on a basketball scholarship for two years before transferring to the University of Dayton, where he joined the Phi Sigma Kappa fraternity.

#2 In 1996, while still quarterback at the University of Tennessee, Peyton Manning dropped his pants while being treated by assistant athletic trainer Jamie Ann Naughright. After an investigation, the university concluded the incident was a "mooning" gone awry and not sexual in nature, and Manning was disciplined and required to apologize in writing to Naughright.^[8] The university chose to settle Naughright's sexual harassment claims (which included the Manning incident) for $300,000.^[9] In 2003, Manning settled a 2002 lawsuit filed by Naughright for $300,000. In the suit Naughright alleged that "Manning: A Father, His Sons and a Football Legacy", a book written by Manning, his father and author John Underwood, defamed her.

#3 Edgerrin James and teammate Matt Leinart are co-owners of one of the largest indoor go-cart tracks in Arizona. James and Leinart are both huge race fans, and were spotted together in Daytona for the 2007 Daytona 500. There is talk of the two Cardinals' players buying their own team for the 2009/10 race season.

#4 Matt Leinart underwent surgery when he was three years old and was fitted with special glasses to correct the problem, but the eyewear combined with Leinart's already-overweight frame to make him an easy target for ridicule at the hands of other children.^[1] “I used to get made fun of for being cross-eyed. It's just a terrible thing because kids are so cruel to the fat kid, to the kid with the glasses. So I turned to sports.,” he would later say.

#5 Daunte Culpepper struggled to get into college, because of low SAT scores. Marquee football schools, such as the University of Florida, backed off from recruiting him when it was assumed he would not qualify. The University of Central Florida, however, offered to tutor him and help him achieve the necessary scores, and he was able to qualify. Although the big college programs returned to recruit him, as a show of loyalty, Culpepper enrolled at UCF.

That's it. Were done. Go home. Get outta here. Stay off the lawn. Blah Blah Blah. I'm out.

Coming Tomorrow

2007-08-15T20:05:00.000-04:00

g tI'm still trying to round my work back into shape after the layoff. Tomorrow should be more productive than today as I will be less busy.

The blog is moving across town on Sunday as I'm moving, but that should not really effect anything here.

Look for the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered. I want to get back into doing a full length column, but I have to find something worth writing about first. I'll be searching throughout tonight and early tomorrow.

So in the spirit of a game I loved playing on today and on vacation and a song that always makes me think of Anchorman, I'm out on this....

Michael Row Your Boat Ashore

2007-08-15T19:45:00.000-04:00

Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant

I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see, the biggest gift would be for me
and the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend

If it's a car you lack
I'd surely buy you a Cadillac
Whatever you need, anytime of the day or night

I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

And when we both get older
With walking canes and hair of gray
Have no fear, even though it's hardly here
I will stand real close and say,
Thank you for being a friend

(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Let me tell you bout a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend

And when we die, and float away
I'll see you there, and once again
Thank you for being a

Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
Whoa, tell you about a friend
(Thank you right now, for being a friend)
Thank you for being a friend
(I wanna tell you right now, and tell you again)
Thank you for being a friend
(I wanna thank you, thank you, for being a friend)
Thank you for being a friend

Oh Michael Vick, what a lesson you have learned over the course of this week. Thanks to all your "friends" your legal options have now dwindled down to 6 months or rape of 2 years of rape.

And despite all the funny jokes that can be made, a serious lesson can be gathered from everything that has gone on his life. When it all comes down to it, who can you really trust to have your back no matter what?

Honestly, think about the people in your own life. Who would you spend 10 extra years in prison for in order to not sell them out like Vick's "friends" did?

Who would you be willing to endure 3,650 days, 10950 meals, 87,600 hours, and probably a thousand rapes for when it all came down it it? Especially if your friend was indeed a criminal as Michael Vick is. This is not a case of protecting the innocent. It's a friendship and creed issue. I honestly don't think there are that many people I know who if they committed criminal acts I would spend 10 years in jail for to help them out.

When does a person's own future trump that of their friends in these criminal situations? I suppose it's a matter of how truly much you care about the person and how much they really care about you. Vick's friends obviously did not have such a deep bond with the running QB they could not sell him out to the prosecutors which is not surprising. I do not think that I would spend an extra minute in jail for someone that A) was going down anyway B) tried to sell you out by saying he was never involved C) was evidently never close enough to them to make a deep friendship impact. There is suppose to be honor amongst thieves, but why uphold that honor for someone who doesn't believe in it.

Good luck ever getting back into the NFL if you ever step foot in a penitentiary Michael. Good luck with any team being willing to touch you with a ten foot poll. Just imagine that press conference with him being announced as being signed to anyone. Pandemonium. This story is dead, Vick is screwed. Let's get ready for some football.

Here's Johnny!

2007-08-14T11:11:00.000-04:00

Around 5 O'clock today I'll finally be back home and ready to settle into working on the site again. Hopefully it will be with renewed vigor after the long break.

Updating during vacation was basically impossible as I was usually up at 6 A.M. out the door at 6:30 and back home around 11 P.M. for 5 or 6 days straight.

I may have a small update later today/tonight, but nothing else. Tomorrow begins another fun run here at The Daily Sports Tome though.

See you then.

(That pic should be done here but IE7 is crap)

Little Time For Updates

2007-08-04T11:25:00.000-04:00

Only time right now for the funniest of updates about my trip to Chicago. I lost my wallet on my first day. Luckily, I found it about 30 minutes later after having about 3 heart attacks.

I want to do a full write up on the trip and put up a sports post, but I'll have to wait til I get the chance.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, The Sun Will...

2007-08-02T21:15:00.000-04:00

Annie references aside. I've got close down early on the site today because I have to be up at 3A.M. tomorrow to catch my flight to Chicago. Right now I'm hanging out in Louisville with my grandparents who are taking me to the airport tomorrow. I'm on her new Vista (which I hate) laptop. I could be using my grandpa's desktop though. I never thought I would see the day where there would be two computers at their house better than mine.

What happens here tomorrow is anybodies guess. I could have alot. I could have nothing. I touch down at 6:25A.M central in Chicago, but getting where I'm going and the things happening when I get there will dictate the events of the day.

So in the spirit of the place where I enjoyed a delcious dinner from tonight, I'm out on this...

I remember this from The Official Sports Tome Defense Team VHS Tape

It's a Gotsta Know Situation...

2007-08-02T13:36:00.000-04:00

It's an abridged need to know situation today as I'm preparing to apart for parts unknown (Chicago) where I should be able to continue working like normal for the most part. Let's get a move on.

1. In the Washington Post today Donovan McNabb seemed to want to defend Michael Vick without really defending him. Any smart athlete would just start having no comment on this issue. Anyone standing up for him is going to be made to look foolish.

McNabb with his left tackle.

2. It always seems that some people's jobs in sports are just too easy. There is a good list of the top 10 easiest jobs in sports that avoid the obvious ones (punter/kicker) and will make you cry yourself to sleep after your shift at Jiffy Lube.

Jim Sorgi pretending to be an NFL football player.

3. With their runaway payroll and endless money supply it's weird to think of the Yankees being any sort of financial bind, but their YES network and the team itself possibly are on sale. Sports just won't be as fun without George around when he sells/dies/retires/returns to reign over hell again.

George just ran over a small child before this picture was taken.

4. In the spirit of the the obscure hot ladies of sports, this website bring to you today the official hot female bowler list. Coming next here at the Sports Tome. Hottest Curlers. The Ice Queens.

I'd show her how it feels to throw it down the lane...

5. BallHype has done an official blog study to determine the make-up of the sports blogging community (side note: I always prefers to refer to the Sports Tome as a site, not a blog. Just sounds better). Turns out not surprisingly that its a bunch of college educated white guys. Big props to whomever was that one guy they surveyed who lives in Kentucky like me (Why wasn't I surveyed? Probably b/c 80% of my traffic is Jenna Jameson related). The man doesn't want a Kentucky Kid to blog. Keep up the struggle for equality.

I'm in talks with Jenna Jameson to wear a Sports Tome jersey and take a picture like this.

That's it. Were done. This article is 100% over. I Win! Was it good for you?

It Came From Tomorrow!

2007-08-02T00:09:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow will likely be an abbreviated day here at the Daily Sports Tome as around 4 P.M. I depart for Louisville so I fly out to Chicago on Friday. Before that though I'll be working away as always.

Expect the usual updates as things happen or are discovered.

So in the spirit of the one of the funniest shows on TV which I watched tonight, I'm out on this...

New Official Blog Member

2007-08-01T16:57:00.000-04:00

Earlier in the day I updated the site with the latest information on this site's official members, but that was only to prepare you for today's event. For the longest time here at the Sports Tome there has been something terribly wrong. At different times I have felt that both ghosts and ninjas are attempting to prevent me from doing the best sport's reporting possible. Kimbo is not trained to take on such foes and is quite busy in his day-to-day training to take on the site's normal human enemies. With the nature of these foes being what they are, Jenna Jameson is also useless because she cannot sleep with them to death. So I believe it is time to name an official defense team for this site dedicated to stopping all supernatural/karate based enemies. But who should take on such a monumental task? There are only two options. I'm going to either need some genetically altered ninjas of the reptilian species who are not yet very old or some people who are capable of creaming poltergeists. The battle is on. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. The Ghostbusters.

Were going to grade them in the following categories from 1 to 10 with the highest total becoming the official defense team of this blog. The categories are:

-Theme Song
-Leader
-Smartest Member
-Dumbest Member
-Biggest Enemy
-Best Friend
-Weapons
-Popularity
-Movies
-Worst Moment

Let's get moving on it. This site can't wait one more moment for a defense team.

Theme Song

Entertaining, but it steals too much from the movie. 5/10

Greatest Theme Song Ever. Walk into a room and start singing and soon everyone will join in. 10/10

Leader

The Ghostbusters always seemed to compliment each other so well that they never really had a true leader or needed one. Much Props. 8/10

Leonardo was at the disadvantage of having to lead his own siblings which made things tough, but he worked hard and usually did a good job. 7/10

Smartest Member

Egon Spengler can catch ghosts and contain them inside special machines. 'Nuff Said. 10/10

Donatello makes alot of stuff that usually breaks and his best weapon is a stick. 4/10

Dumbest Member

Peter Venkman isn't the sharpest tool in the shade, but he got Sigourney Weaver in the sack and is hilarious. 8/10
Michalangelo is a party dude and as such is not required to be a genius. He serves his role well. 7/10

Biggest Enemy

A massive Marshmallow Man is more delicious than scary, but he does stay puffed. 4/10

Shredder is the coolest looking inept man I have ever seen. But cool looking none the less especially when he's looking super and played by Kevin Nash. 7/10

Best Friend

A giant floating green glob that licks everything named Slimer doesn't make for great cocktail parties, but he did have a delicious ice cream bar. 5/10

A giant rat trained as a ninja named Splinter doesn't make for great cocktail parties, but he can kick you ass. 7/10

Weapons

They have streams which can never be crossed. That's gotta be powerful. 8/10

Swords, Nunchucks, and hand tridents (thats what they are) are cool, but having a guy who swing sticks is infinitely lame. 4/10

Popularity

They peaked as an incredibly popular movie which spawned a decently long running TV show and sequel. 7/10

They went from a comic parody to a cultural icon with a movie trilogy and multiple TV series. 10/10

Movies

There are only two movies and I really only enjoy watching the first, but there both pretty good. 8/10

With a whole trilogy you would think they would be good each time, but each film got progressively worse from the still great if slightly too kiddy first flick. 7/10

Worst Moment

Your eyes bleeding from watching the horrible claymation effects of the 1980's. 8/10

Your brain exploding as the Ninja Turtles team up with Usagi Yojimbo (actually pretty cool, I really just wanted to mention they did that) in the same year they traveled back to ancient Japan. 8/10

And with 10 categories in the books we have a tie at 71. How do we break this?

Well obviously we go to the video games. The Ninja Turtles have more good 8 and 16 bit games than you can shake a stick at (as if that would do anything to electronics)

and the Ghostbusters have this.

I think it's obvious who are winner is then.

Congratulations Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! You are now the Official Sports Tome Defense Team. Please report to Kimbo to receive more information about this amazing job you have been given. And please, no Ninja Rapping while your on duty.

Blog Member Update

2007-08-01T10:28:00.000-04:00

While I still remain the sole writer/editor/researcher/do stuffer for the website as a whole, returning readers should remember I am not the only member on the staff here at the Daily Sports Tome. Currently two other people are employed in various ways through this site in official positions vitally important to our success. I speak of course of the official blog woman and bodyguard. Let's check in with them and see how it's going.

Official Blog Bodyguard - Kimbo Slice
The most recent Kimbo news continues to be that he will battle Tank Abbot in his second MMA fight this year. The fight is scheduled to occur on October 12th at CFFC 6 "Heavy Hands". Tank Abbot has been talking smack about the Sports Tome and Kimbo is not taking kindly to it. The fight will not be pretty. He has dedicated his life to destroying this site's enemies and will stop at nothing until he does. Just remember what happened to the last man he fought.

Official Blog Lady - Jenna Jameson
Since our last update the official blog member with boobs has been quite busy. First of all, she has apparently dropped about 40 pounds from a increasingly bitter divorce and a botched vaginoplasty (seriously). She definitely looks worse from wear from the pictures in the link. Her divorce hasn't stopped her from being involved with other men though (she's a porn star for heaven's sake), as she is also apparently busily distracting her MMA boyfriend Tito Ortiz. During all of this she has also found time to star in her own nudity free comic strip. What an amazing woman. All of that above and she still has all the time in the world to drive traffic to my site thanks to google image search. Oh, and she defended this site in front of Bill O'Reilly.

Thanks for all your support of this site official Sports Tome members. Keep up the good work.

Journey Into The Future

2007-07-31T23:43:00.000-04:00

A.K.A approximately 14 minutes from when this is posted.

Tomorrow should be another productive day here at the Daily Sports Tome. Same old stuff. The Good, The Bad, and the stuff I write. Expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.

So in the spirit of the man who I spent my night watching a biography on, I'm out on this...

The Problem With Sports

2007-07-31T20:00:00.000-04:00

Want to know why I can't wait for football season to begin. The Sports Headlines. What are the top stories on ESPN.com?

Of those 10 stories, how many of truly relate to what happens between the lines of a field of play? 4 have absolutely nothing to do with any game that will be played anytime soon (4, 5, 6, 9). 1 has to do with a player trying to leverage a team for more money and less training camp (1). 2 have something to do with an event that will occur tonight, but one of those two involves a circus having little to do with the swinging of a bat at this point (2, 3). 1 involves more doping violations in a sport no one actually watches (8). And the last two relate to player status which are actually pretty relevant and meaningful to the actual sport somewhat (7, 10). So by my count, at most half of the stories that ESPN feels important this late July game have nothing to actually do with the second letter of their name besides the fact that the people who are involved with them participate/did participate at one time in sports. Either ESPN could just care less about games (a valid point) or there is just nothing truly interesting happening. I can't wait to hear hike. I'm so tired of this trash.

I Hate That Trickerization

2007-07-31T09:51:00.000-04:00

With the sports world in a deep coma the last couple of months, potential ideas and stories continue to dry out faster than Lindsey Lohan's career outside of the porn industry. So today, I bring you a list of the my favorite 10 trick plays in football history (hopefully without missing any of the truly historical ones). It's always fun to see a game of physical aggression and dominance be won by simply outsmarting your opponent. It's part of what makes football great. The ability to beat someone physically superior by better planning and execution. It is one of the reasons football is the greatest sport in the world. Enjoy.

#10 "Coach Wrong Ball"

#9 "Guy Malzahn Special"

#8 "The Statue of Liberty"

#7 "The Play I Personally Used To Draw Up And Try To Get My O-Coordinator To Run"

#6 "Son of Guy Malzahn"

#5 "The Too Much Work"

#4 "The Bounce Pass"

#3 "Da Jump Pass"

#2 "The How Did You Let This Happen This Easily!?"

#1 "The Boise Light"

I wanted to include the fake spike and the fumblerooskie, but alas, there are not any videos to be found online of them. Of course, the Top 10 listing is not reflective necessarily of which of those ten were the best. The top trick play is whichever will work for you in the situation your in at the current time in the game. So until Malzahn and Urban Meyer come up with something new, I'm out.

Son of By (Insert Date)

2007-07-30T23:21:00.000-04:00

I think trying to spell out all of my site goals for the next days in extreme detail my by entering the recycling bin, but I still want to sign off each night and give a little bit of details concerning this site's future each day.

Tomorrow, I will continue working on getting the some info (even if its only a few tidbits) about the secret project online. The research phase is rounding back into form, but I like I said yesterday, it can no longer be none for my good old desktop.

Other than that, expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.

So in the spirit of the show I spent an hour (and few hundred hours in the past)watching tonight, I'm out on this...

The Tome of Knowledge

2007-07-30T22:46:00.000-04:00

It's time for a nightly dose of Wikipedia factification. It's the top five random facts I found while searching through Wikipedia related to sports. The text is pulled directly from the site unless slightly edited to clarify names and places. In honor of Bill Walsh, one of the greatest offensive minds of the last 50 years in football, today's facts will all relate to him and his tree. Let's get moving.

#1 The Bill Walsh Coaching Tree.

His effect on the game will last forever.

#2 Mike Holmgren started out as a tight end before becoming a standout quarterback at San Francisco's Lincoln High School, where he was named "Prep Athlete of the Year" in 1965 and graduated in 1966. He continued his playing career as a quarterback at University of Southern California from 1966-69.

Holmgren SMASH!

#3 The quality of Andy Reid's work with the Packers attracted considerable notice from throughout the league, leading to his being hired as the head coach of the Eagles on January 11, 1999. At the time, many in the local media in Philadelphia criticized the hiring, citing the availability of other candidates who had past records of success as head coaches.

Someone told him they were out of donuts.

#4 Before the 2003 season, Jim Fassel was reunited with a son, John Mathieson, who he and his wife Kitty gave up for adoption in 1969. The couple was unmarried when he was born.

For when you say, "You know, I hate the establishment, but I love advertising for people."

#5 Marty Morhinweg was a backup quarterback for the Denver Dynamite in the Arena Football League in 1987 after spending four years calling signals at the University of Montana. He completed 3 of 4 passes for 30 yards and was sacked twice in a backup role. His team, however, went onto with the inaugural ArenaBowl I with a 45-16 victory over the Pittsburgh Gladiators - a team that featured current U. of Arizona Head Coach Mike Stoops.

Remember the time he declined the ball before OT. That's funnier than any joke I've got.

Once again, R.I.P. Bill Walsh, a person truly worth talking about when he died (unlike alot of them). You da man. I'm out.

He's drawing slants in heaven now.

Goes Together Like Apple Pie and Syphilis

2007-07-30T10:33:00.000-04:00

It seemed to be that two months ago there was a great story about how this:

And this:

Would never go together. This led of course to this guy:

Giving approximately 1.2 Billion interviews about the racial perception of Boston. Now apparently though, it's all water under the bridge as the trade is back on. I'm glad to see we wasted 2 months waiting on something that should have either happened or been dropped back in June. But more importantly, what does this mean for the two teams involved. First, the Minnesota Timberwolves:

Under the proposed deal, it appears the Fightin' McHales would send up Randy Foye, Corey Brewer, Ricky Davis, Al Jeffereson, and Theo Ratliff out to do battle each night with the likes of Mark Madsen, Gerald Green, and Marko Jaric coming off the bench to spell those superstars. This team, while full of potential, would undoubtablely be on of the worst in the NBA. That may not be a terrible thing though. Consider this scenario:

1) The Timberwolves spend the 07'-08' season being terrible while giving all their younger players heavy minutes to develop.
2) At the end of the season they let Theo Ratliff go giving them about 14 Million Dollars in cap space before they have to re-sign anyone.
3) They receive an extremely high draft pick which could easily turn into Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley.
4) They let Ricky Davis go since his contract expired, sign a decent player in the 8-10 Million Dollar Range for a four years (maybe Antawn Jamison could be signed without giving out a 5-6 year deal, he may want to find a contender to sign with though but hopefully money talks) with their cap space, hand Al Jefferson an extension, and do something with Gerald Green depending on how he performs.
5) They can then trot out of line-up either Randy Foye, Corey Brewer, Antawn Jamison, Michael Beasley, Al Jefferson or maybe Derrick Rose, Corey Brewer, Gerald Green, Antawn Jamison, and Al Jefferson with Randy Foye in the Ben Gordan role.
6) The 08-09 Celtics would then be competitive enough to gun for the 8th seed in the west while being absolutely loaded for the future

All of those possibilities and extreme optimism aside (pulling that off and having it work is much more of a pipe dream than reality), the Timberwolves are in trouble no matter what they do so they might as well trade KG and see what happens. There not going to get a better offer than what they have now at this point anyway especially at the trade deadline (everyone is scared of it now).

On the Celtics side, how does this trade look:

How does a starting line-up of Rajon Rando, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Ryan Gomes, and Kevin Garnett sound? It sounds good enough to win the horrible East to me. Despite the fact that will have hardly anyone worthwhile coming off the bench (pray Glen Davis can play in the NBA) this team could easily move into contender status especially considering under this "go for broke" move Danny Ainge should be trading anything hes (picks included) to insure this team has the best chance it can to win this season.

With Garnett banging inside against the weak Eastern bigs, Ray Allen sliding comfortable into the role of shooter extraordinaire with the pressure and burden of team carrying, Paul slashing and shooting, Rajon Rondo focusing on his defense, and whoever is playing beside Garnett focusing on rebounding, this team surely could be Lebron James (if they can find someone to guard him). The future is bleak with this team as in 3 years they will likely be starting Rajon Rondo, Deshawn Stephenson, Paul Pierce's shadow, Brian Scalabrine, and 49 year old Greg Oden, but for now they look good enough. Not good, simply good enough. Giving up what basically amounts to a player who may never develop (Gerald Green) and a productive young big for a shot at a title does not seem to big of a sacrifice as long as going for it all now is what you truly desire. If you have any hopes for the future, this trade is dumber than taking the under on Lohan arrests.

So with all that said, can we please quit waiting and make this happen. At the minimum it will at least get the Sports Guy to write a column...

The Week Ahead

2007-07-30T01:05:00.000-04:00

I am going to try to get up a complete right up about the now long running secret topic this week. It likely wont be tomorrow though, as I need to hide to the local main library branch to finish up a bit of research that is literally impossible to complete online (much to my annoyance).

Other than that, it should be a pretty normal week around here except for the fact that on Thursday I depart for approximately two weeks in Chicago to visit a pal of mine who lives there. It should not stop any sort of the regular updates to the site though since it is not a tightly budgeted time trip. Site operators who have only been on the job a few months don't deserve the luxury of time off anyway.

So in the spirit of the show I spent much of my day watching while I cleaning up the house, I'm out on this...

The SEC Round-Up

2007-07-30T01:01:00.000-04:00

I am attempting to become a writer/worker for a website specializing in a subject near and dear to my heart, University of Kentucky sports. I wrote this piece as a try-out piece from them. Each of the little entries related to an article from various webpages. I can't easily translate those links from word though so they will remain MIA. I just wanted to update everyone on what I am up to though. Enjoy.

The SEC Round-Up

Let’s go around the southeast and see what’s up this weekend.

General News -

Everyone appears to think the world is coming to an end because kick-offs moved back the immeasurable distance of… 5 yards.

The media votes are in. Who will be your next All-SEC pre-season players and team champions?

Alabama –

LSU is busy pretending that the game against the Fightin’ Nick Sabans is no big deal.

The top offensive lineman in Alabama agrees to play for Nick the Slick.

What do King Saban’s players have to say about this year’s team?

Basketball coach Mark Gottfried is busy help coach team USA at the Pan-American games.

Arkansas –

Houston Nutt is still unable to escape the biggest 10 win disaster of his career.

What did the reporters down in Arkansas think was important during SEC Media day?

It appears by the poll on this page that Arkansas is not too excited about the Kentucky football game.

Auburn –

I have go to learn how I can get a scholarship to practice basketball in Cancun like Auburn’s squad.

This Auburn newspaper blogger does not have a very opinion of Andre Woodson or pre-season All-SEC selections.

What do the local Auburn students think about the upcoming football season?

Florida –

What are the Florida students writing about Steve Superior now?

Urban Meyer loves throwing out great new ideas like, every game is tough.

It also appears the Tim Tebow may not be Florida’s leading rusher this season.

Proof that our long statewide nightmare is finally over.

Georgia –

With the summer being slow, Georgia’s Student Newspaper covers the only football available.
Georgia Basketball enters the 21st century by starting the process of draining what cash is left in their fans pockets.

Skinny Old Georgian Fred Gibson was cut from the Falcons, but one time 19th year senior D.J. Shockley remains.

LSU –

The Tigers won’t hear any pads popping until August the 8th.

Have no fear, LSU is quickly moving to bring a new deadly caged animal into their fold.

It appears Brandon Bass and Glen Davis, who couldn’t stop Chuck Hayes, are doing well in the NBA summer league.

Mississippi State –

I usually like to have heard of a team’s media day representative.

Jacob Tamme better watch out, a MSU TE is gunning for him.

Some people think it’s time to drop Croom and don’t mind saying so.

South Carolina –

Superior stumbled off the golf course long enough of to hit on housewives for charity.

It turns out South Carolina has been playing basketball for 100 years. No mention of the word good.

It appears voluntary like in most football programs means anything but.

Tennessee –

News of the ironies of college sports has begun to seep into Knoxville now apparently.

Trouble and Tennessee. It’s alliteration, It has to go together,
One national championship doesn’t buy you a job for life. Just ask Fulmer.

Tennessee basketball writers apparently did not take kindly to Chris Lofton not making the trip to the Pan Am Games.

Vanderbilt –

Try to guess the one Vanderbilt team that went to visit the White House.

At least being a Vandy fan won’t require you to get a loan.

Vandy basketball, much like UK, is still recruiting and signing for the upcoming season.

If you build it, maybe you can charge half what UK does for tickets. New Vandy Stadium?

Now, let’s move on to the only topic that really matter. Your University of Kentucky Wildcats/Fightin’ Gillispies.

-Of all the events that have occurred in the last week surrounding the University, the most important of any of them by far is the soda switch. The repercussions of moving from Pepsi to Coke will have far reaching effects that will be felt for decades to come inside the Athletics Department. I can see some recruit becoming leery of a University that cannot even pick a soda company. We don’t need any flip-floppers around here to bring as down while everything is looking up.

-In less important news, the basketball team’s schedule was released to much hoopla despite the fact is basically the same as every years for most intensive purposes. I still can’t shake the feeling though that it just seems a little weaker than it has the last couple of years. Maybe its just because all of the sudden playing in the SEC doesn’t mean having to play a team with an all lottery pick front court twice a year.

-The local UK beat reporter’s take on the recent SEC media days.

-I hate that the UK vs. Louisville was moved to the third game this season, but according to all the people that insisted or fought the move, it is still an important game. Early September will never be the same again.

-Get ready for all the upcoming UK football events this summer.

-Old Chip Cosby is back to break down UK’s schedule. Since, of course, no one has already done that anywhere else and it’s not an obvious thing…

-33 days till kickoff. Too bad UK couldn’t be bothered to play that one game that always excited everyone for months leading up to it. Oh well, EKU sure will be a blast. Just like reading a Peter King colonoscopy column. So get your depth chart memorized.
Until tomorrow, this was Tim Riley brining you all the news from around the SEC. Oh, and this…

The Real American Heroes

2007-07-29T00:49:00.000-04:00

American Gladiators is one of the greatest shows in the history of this nation. I am here today to experience it's greatness once again as it is good enough to be aired extremely late at night on a premium cable station. Let's get moving.

- You have to love the inspiration opening music. It makes you think that anything of real importance is going to happen in that arena.

- Normally it always seemed to me that the competitors were extremely nonathletic, but today seems to be the exception. You have a woman with a jaw more cut than mine, a Chippendale's dancer, and a former UCLA football player. Oh, and a waitress. I'm sure she'll have no problem competing.

- Apparently this is some sort of Alumni event for the Gladiators so everyone on the show has won a match before. Because it's a real testament to them to have beaten one average person. People were I'm sure clamoring for their return.

- Is it possible to listen to the names of the gladiators anymore without thinking of the movie Dodgeball?

- I can't believe Larry Csonka is commentating on this show. It's fun looking back nearly20 years and watching people who had been washed up for near 20 years when what you were watching was filmed.

- Apparently when American Gladiator was being filmed their was a nationwide barber strike. I've seen better hair in Danny De Vito's armpit.

- Csonka's eyes don't move off the female's racks at any point while he interviews them.

- I love how American Gladiator was always suppose to be some sort of massive tournament. Can anyone name me a winner? It always just seemed like random people were always just competing to me. I guess that's what syndication does to a game. Imagine the football season this way. USC is the national champs! Tune in next week to see them take on SMU.

- They really need to get steroids to the Gladiators ASAP. There are 4 or 5 guys at the gym I go to as buff as they are. Where is Barry Bonds when you need him?

- A sign of the times. In the audience there can be seen multiple normal looking males wearing pink T-shirts. I would rather die than put one of those on. It's a matter of principle.

- Cardio must not be a big sticking point with the contestants or the gladiators. They are all winded after jousting with each other for 30 seconds. Whats the next event? The Mile Jog. Finish under 20 minutes and get 10 points. Finish period and you get 5. This will be a tough one.

- You gotta love a show where the one black person is given the name Blaze. Stereotyping is wrong. But funny. R.I.P Dave Chappelle (what he's not dead? he must have just made himself irrelevant somehow...)

- There is no excuse for a gladiator losing at Joust. They only have superior physical skills and all day to practice. It's like Jordan getting beaten one-on-one by Rick, the guy who's 10th in scoring in your YMCA league.

- Powerball, the game that proves why all of the men Gladiators are not professional football players. Why they thought that taking extremely muscular body builders and forcing them to work in space while displaying their lackluster tackling skills is beyond me. There is no excuse for anyone scoring in that game. Even Deion Sanders is more physical than these guys. The women hit better than they do.

- It must be another sign of the times. The women seem to be wearing full body suits during the entire competition. Apparently they did not want any of their 10 year old fans reaching puberty while watching their show. I think Season 5 was the Islamic Fundamentalist Edition. Less Skin than Lohan Sober Nights!

- I always remembered The Wall as being one of the coolest events. It always had a very epic feel to it. Today I may have to call into question that memory. Both of the gladiators were able to pull the competitors down with setting foot on the wall. One guy fell on his own. The other, the gladiators simply jumped and grabbed his foot. How lame.

- Hang Tough. One of the best events ever. It has a strict time limit to get across so all of the contestant and gladiator are forced to confront each other. Trying to get around the gladiator takes too long and is near impossible so you know you are going to see some action. Too bad body builders don't spend more time actually being athletic, then this would be even more fun.

- What the hell!? Remember on the line above where I said Hang Tough forces the action? Well, one of the chicks just climbed straight across while the gladiator was stuck momentumless hanging off to the side. Now that's good TV.

- I'm glad to see everyone came to play today though considering Mr. Strip is up 20 points on UCLA and the blue woman (with a jaw like Clint Eastwood) is up 20 points on another woman who can only be described as a midget.

- I wonder what kind of royalties the Gladiators get on these reruns. There has to be only like 3 people including me watching this at 1 A.M. on ESPN Classic. Maybe they just send them a commemorative key chain or something every year. I'll have to look into that.

- Atlas Sphere is normally a pretty entertaining game. 4 people rolling around in hamster balls has to make for good TV. That is unless one of the gladiators spends 3/4's of the match pinning one of the competitors up against the wall so that he can't move at all. Apparently this was Turbo's first go at the game. I'm sure they told him to stop. The game shouldn't be fixed, but come on. It's TV. You gotta entertain.

- Turbo (who is sporting two ear rings in the same ear) just told Larry Csonka that he can be his first big fan. At least that's what I think he said. He rambled on about Csonka giving away football pads or something then smiled while Larry tried to recall all the racks he spend the last 40 minute staring at.

- You know, maybe it's just the 2 A.M. talking, but Lace and Diamond don't look so bad.

- I always hated the shooting game where you run for cover while a gladiator shoots tennis balls at the contestant. It just seems sort of dumb to force people to test their luck trying to win based on shooting air propelled weapon's they have never fired before under stress. Plus they always like to pretend like the Tennis balls are going to cause serious damage. If that was the case, every pro tennis player in the world would be dead.

- The entire show I think simply makes me happy because it reminds me of all the things you wish you could do as a kid. Doing that stuff would be great right now, but if I was 10 or 11, it would be heaven. I demand they reform American Gladiators and make me A) A Gladiator by the name of Super King (thanks Futurama) or B) Larry Csonka.

- It's time for the finish. The eliminator. They always seem to randomly switch how many points you get per second of victory and whether both competitors start at the same time. When they start simultaneously, I think it kills the drama because you have no sense of the time really. It should be whoever crosses the finish line first wins the match. That's drama.

- Since Mrs. Skullcrusher and Mr. Naked for Fat Old Ladies are both up about 25 points this is a mere formality, but it's worth watching anyway just to see if I remember the whole thing right.

- In hindsight, The Eliminator is sort of lame. There is nothing particularly difficult about it. If a cargo net is your biggest challenge you've got a problem. They couldn't have added more reverse treadmills, more climbs, or even some monkey bars to the event. Give me a break. My grandma could complete this thing in less than a minute.

- Funniest part of the show. Watching the midget chick struggle to get back onto the course as she falls off twice. I'm really surprised she was able to at all. Between this and falling of her own accord on Hang Tough she really represented well for all the waitresses of this fine nation.

- And with some final pandering you did good, I did good, we all did good interviews the show is over. I can't wait til 8 A.M. when we can all do it again.

Blog-A-Beastie 3.0

2007-07-28T11:31:00.000-04:00

Were back for another edition of Blog-A-Beastie, the game of competitive stupidity. We take a person who knows nothing about sports, me sister, ask her some questions regarding recent events and grade the responses. Let's get moving.

One of Michael Vick's co-defendant to enter into a plea agreement - "We already know they did. There guilty until proven still guilty." I happen to agree, but she didn't really confront the current issue. 3/5

Mark Bulger receives a 6-year extension from the Rams - "You mean like hair extensions?" No, not like hair extensions. 0/5

Wake Forest Basketball Coach Skip Prosser dies - "Wake Forest is stupid name. Who wakes in a forest?" True, but not applicable. 1/5

Smush Parker signs with the Miami Heat - "Is there a team called the cold?" Minnesota Cold. Has a nice ring to it. 1/5

Michael Strahan is mulling retirement - "I don't think he should because he's an asset to the team." She has no idea who this is, but she is technically giving a valid opinion. 3/5

Pepsi admits their bottled water is nothing more than tap water - "REALLY!?" I can't believe this would surprise anyone. 0/5

This Video

"Should you really be teaching prisoners to coordinate their efforts?" Very True. 5/5

So with all the questions asked we turn to the tale of the tape and add up her score. Will she crack the 50% mark for the first time ever. Drum Roll Please!

12/35=35%

Too bad. She failed to match her two previous mid-40% responses. If only she had understood at all that bottled water is the biggest rip off in the history of mankind. Better luck to her next week. Keep checking in to see if she can pass the Blog-A-Beastie Mendoze line and get up 50%. Until then, I'm out and she's out of knowledge.

Today's Article...

2007-07-27T16:47:00.000-04:00

Won't be posted until about 3 A.M because it involves something that is not happening until 1 A.M. I don't have a laptop so when its over I have to come back and type up all the notes I took, so it won't be an instant turn around. The topic you ask?

American Gladiators

When Housewives Attack....

2007-07-27T12:50:00.000-04:00

Does this picture scare you? How about this one?

Well, it must if your name is Michael "Dog Don" Vick.

Vick was unwillingly to be involved with these monsters and sent his attorney Billy Martin out to give a statement about his "innocence".

The Feds are going to make like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and sack Vick. He's not scrambling his way out of this one.

It's not as if he is really doing something original anyway. He's just better at it.

His coach had to have had a heart attack.

By July 28th

2007-07-27T00:01:00.000-04:00

I don't know whats going to happen around here tomorrow. I'm so excited about my secret project turning out well that I may just spend all day throwing myself a parade. I'm got to decide how exactly to handle it here on the site though.

So in the spirit of the movie I sat to watch so I could wait to exclaim my victory over mathematics, I'm out on this...

Group Think

2007-07-26T14:55:00.000-04:00

There are always numerous great things floating up on the Internet. This week the top 10 stories/games/events/things are as follows:

#10 Can You Hit a Baseball? This game tests your ability to react quickly enough. My average time is about .16s.

#9 Soccer Moms are not to be messed with. I'm glad that when I played little league the parents just stuck to non-violent complaining.

#8 A Steeler Funeral. Replace all the yellow and black with blue and white and it's my funeral.

#7 A completely insane time for a mile race. I run it in like 6:30 and I feel like a beast. He doesn't even seem that tired from running it in 3:45.

#6 The story of the most unlucky man on the planet. This just really really sucks.

#5 Some Old Colin Cowherd Hating. I just really dislike him and his show so I always enjoy going back to read these.

#4 In case TV doesn't give you enough. You just gotta love them adding ads, doing less work on the game, and charging you more for it.

#3 A good NBA Free Agent List. Give me Ime Udoka. Good player and a likely reasonable contract.

#2 This is what our congressmen are paid for. Is it just me or do you hate every single politician other than that anti-pork (not the meat) guy?

#1 Old but you probably have never seen it. I hate parents who think that their kids are good at sports when they are truly horrible.

I'm out.

Yesterday...

2007-07-26T12:53:00.000-04:00

All my troubles seemed so far away, but moving on. I was relentless hyping an old episode of the Simpson's yesterday, and in a massive coincidence, ESPN.com has a big write up by Jim Caple all about it today.

I will be filing a lawsuit within the hour.

By July 27th

2007-07-26T00:57:00.000-04:00

The data entry on the secret project is winding down making me a very happy man, but a few hours of lonely agony still await me tomorrow. There should be an article of some shape, form and length tomorrow though at some time.

Other than that, expect a few small updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.

So in the spirit of the miserable game I attempted to improve myself at today, I'm out on this...

Keep It Moving!

2007-07-25T23:59:00.000-04:00

Today's article is going to be very short and to the point (not much of an article really). I don't have alot of time to elaborate on anything in great depth because all of my time is still being eaten up by the secret project; however, I if not as informative, I think this piece will take as much time technically work through and be fun . It's the top 5 cartoon sports moments.

From One of the Best Simpson's Episode's Ever.

I'm surprised they allowed Stewie to play considering hes 2. And Gay.

If only they would actually do something like this.

I wonder how long it will be before I end up like this.

Around about the age of 6 I realized this.

That's it. Move along. Nothing to see here.

On Friday Remember This...

2007-07-25T20:45:00.000-04:00

When you walk out of the theatre disappointed in the Simpson's movie, watch this video to remember an episode of the Simpson's back when it was actually worth watching.

I love the joke about Griffey's jaw considering what's gone on the last 10 years in baseball with steroids.

A Tough Spot

2007-07-25T12:39:00.000-04:00

Normally here at the Daily Sports Tome we regard this man as a comedy piece and a ball-hogging overrated basketball player.

However, today we can actually see him speaking and making a good point simultaneously. Yesterday, Allen Iverson commented on the Michael Vick case and said the following:

"You know, I don't think it's fair to say, 'Stay away from the people you grew up with. It's hard to have a relationship with people once you're already rich. You have to have a relationship with the same people you grew up with."

And for once, I sort of have to agree with him. I know it's shocking.

With all the young athletes getting in trouble today, the most common thing everyone likes to say should be done is for them to drop all of their old friends.

But, Iverson is correct is saying that is not always so easy or doable to simply drop your old friends. Whenever massive changes occur in someone's life (and being an instant millionaire is a massive change), it's always natural to reach back to your past to find some since of normalcy. Your old friends are people who wanted to hang with you back when your diet consisted of the 99 cent menu. You feel you can trust them.

To simply tell someone to drop all of their old friends, the only people they feel they can actually trust, is extremely difficult. Other than their new teammates many of whom are older, married, and not looking for someone to hang with, who are these players suppose to turn to that they can trust. Dropping your old buddies, no matter how dumb they are (or cause you to be), is simply not an easy process. They are people you care about. Protecting one's money and integrity are vitally important, but what all does it mean if you have to alienate all your peers who were with you before you moved up in the world?
I'm not trying to defend the actions of Vick (despicable) or the Pac-Man (horrible), but I am saying that Iverson is quite right, throwing the people you grew up with out of your life, during a major time of transition in it, is never quite as easy as the old pundits would like you to believe.

By July 26th

2007-07-25T00:47:00.000-04:00

I'm currently in the brainstorming process for tomorrow's article. I should be able to come up with something worthwhile not related to the secret topic that I'm sure no one is breathless awaiting.

Other than that, expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.

So in the spirit of the movie I saw for the second time tonight and now definitely know is horrible, I'm out on this...

Top 5 Things David Stern Was Saying

2007-07-24T21:12:00.000-04:00

"Come on, so a man can't even fix a few NBA games these days?"

"Just pick which hand you want across your face."

"Want to know why I'm the best commish in sports? It's got something to do with this length."

"As you can see, I have nothing up either of my sleeves. Oops wrong room."

"Look. I just work here lady."

NEWS FLASH!

2007-07-24T12:19:00.000-04:00

Butter-Face?

The following woman, named Kimberly Bell, was Barry Bond's mistress during a large period of his steriod use as Chronicled in Game of Shadows. She will be interviewed and clothless in Playboy starting October 1st.

Live From David Stern's Head

2007-07-24T11:29:00.000-04:00

Live Blogging/Reporting the David Stern Q&A:

-Stern claims the NBA had no idea a referee has a security problem. Kind of conflicts with the reports from yesterday.

-Stern claims he is surprised by the NBA being caught like this, but he sure doesn't sound like it. My suspicions that he was replaced with SternBot 3000 are growing stronger. Or maybe, he said it with a wink and nod, "Yeah, I'm surprised *wink*". I don't know, I'm not watching, just listening.

-WOOT! Time to get my Rachel Nichols on. Oh, she told him. She was all like, "your life's work is ruined bitch, whatcha gon do now?". Or something like that.

-Now we're debating whether to call soccer being played in Germany being discussed by Americans should be called football.

-The NBA Family Picnic is today. I'll see all of my NBA office readers there.

-I really think Steven A. Smith needs to be involved in this. Just imagine him sitting in the corner of the room yelling, "Tim Donaghy! Tim Donaghy! He's no MEHMET OKUR!".

-New York Times is asking a question now. I'm going to sleep.

-Stern keeps saying the words, "Rogue, isolated official" and "wait for the investigation to be completed"

-Man, now Stern is saying the referees of the NBA do not carry themselves with proper modesty. Are they flashing the arena off camera?

-Mark Cuban should sneak in as a reporter and start asking Stern questions. Now that'd be fun press conference.

-Stern feels betrayed by the referee. "It's nothing other than an act of betrayal." The penalty of betraying Stern is worth than death and cannot be described in words.

-The media needs to get off the escalation train. Stern just had to rebuke someone for saying this thing will continue to grow bigger because the Mob is involved. It's not like all the sudden the Mob, with all this attention being paid, is going to start trying to fix more games.

-"When did I stop beating my wife? That's what you just asked". That's what Stern said he was just asked when someone said, "How sure are you that there aren't any more corrupt referees?". That's a great comeback once you figure it out. The NBA needs to employ people yell, "No He Didn't" and "BUST!" whenever Stern does stuff like this.

-Stern just spent 20 seconds stumbling over his words so that he could say exactly what Tim Donaghy is being investigated for. He wanted to avoid the words, "Fixed Games".

-Stern say Donaghy did not gamble through Vegas. Was it online then?

-It's nice hearing all the voices from people you normally only read. Everyone from CBS, SI, and ESPN sounds pretty normal. Most actually sound younger than they look in their pics. Kudos to them.

-Tim Donaghy resigned before the NBA ever got the chance to fire him according to Stern as the NBA decided firing him would hurt the investigation.

-I swear, you cannot anger David Stern. You could punch him in the face, and he would take a deep breath and then convince you to punch yourself in the face as retribution. He has power's from Satan.

-New York Times=Sleep Time for Tim.

-Apparently Stern said 5 months ago that he was not concerned about NBA game fixing and gambling during an All-Star weekend according to NYT (OK, I wasn't really sleeping. Sue me.). He asked for the transcript and then said he didn't say it. I still say he got busted on bad.

-3 More Questions!

-Stern is running out of patience. It's about to get all Dan Patrick Show in here.

-I swear, today Stern could have answered every question with Yes and No if he wanted.

-There discussing my basketball squad now. The UK Basketball team. Unfortunately its concerning the massive gambling scandal that some of their players were involved in. No one really discusses those things around these parts too much....

-Stern says he does bet on college basketball. He does not participate in NCAA Tourney Pools. Shocking that he would say that.

-Stern states, "It is my understanding the he bet on games in which he officiated and games that he was not officiating and that he gave information to others for the purpose of allowing them to bet on games he was officiating and not officiating."

-More NYT. How many reporters do they have? They always had a copy of their paper in one of my classes last semester of school and apparently they normally don't even have a front page sports section as far as I could notice. How did NYT get more questions than ESPN?

-ESPN 3 NYT 3. Chris Sheridan just got a question.

-Stern says once a long long time ago that there was some sort of NBA gambling thing we was informed of a problem where an NBA game was taking off the Vegas gambling line for some reason.

-Apparently, its not 3 more questions. Stupid Press Conference running guy.

-"If you bet on a game, you lose the benefit of the doubt." That's tough talk considering Stern in a good old "Guilty until proven innocent" lawyer type.

-According to Stern, NBA employees are completely banned from gambling activities. Except for going to the race track in summer. That's excused.

-Stern was informed something was going on with Donaghy involving this gambling investigation about 20 days before Donaghy resigned and a month before the story broke.

-How does this effect an NBA team in Vegas? Stern doesn't know. He was suppose to have a meeting with some Vegas people recently, but he did not feel it was the proper time to be doing so now. He did not want to juxtapose them.

-He does not want to legalize gambling.

-Stern always wants to find where the question asker is. I think that's so he can burn their soul with his piercing gaze.

-The NBA decided two years ago to investigate all their employees deeply ever year 2 years ago. The decision was not motivated by anything to do with Donaghy.

-"I'm not able to answer that question openly at this time." Stern's response to what motivated Donaghy.

-Apparently the race track gambling exception was collectively bargained.

-Yahoo Sports gets a question. It's a boring question. No wonder they don't get very many.

-Same guy asks about tainted playoff games. Stern just says if there was a problem in the past that they will simply work to regain trust in the future.

-"I won't distinguish between regular and post-season."

-It seems the media has spent all their good questions. There now talking about NBA pay referee pay scale. Donaghy made $260,000 last year. Those guys get paid way to much for the job they do and how much they do it. Of course, so does everyone in the NBA.

-Wow, look what The Big Lead just posted. I'm obviously very bored of this now.

-Apparently Donaghy is contemplating a plea agreement now according to Stern. The Source, Donaghy's lawyer.

-ESPN.com's feed of the press conference is over. It was all winding down though. Nothing interesting is left to happen as far as I can think of. I'm out. Enjoy the rest of your day.

By July 25th

2007-07-24T00:34:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here staring at two options right now. Write a crappy article that probably won't be very good or very original or just cancel it for today. I'm sorry, but today I'm going to have to go without an article. I only want to put things on this site I believe are good, enjoyable, original work and at this point at night I can't do that tonight. I'm sorry.

Tomorrow should bring an article on some sort of topic along with all the usual updates that were missing today as well. Everything is just taking longer because all my research into the unnamed topic is not resulting in anything I can instantly report. A hour of work barely dents it.

So in the spirit of what I caught 5 minutes of between going various places, I'm out on this...

I want to see this guy and Ron Paul in a Steel Cage Death Match.

This Is Not The Article You're Looking For...

2007-07-23T12:09:00.000-04:00

"This is not the article I'm looking for." Good, because that article is coming later today (probably sometime tonight since I have to be somewhere at 11, 1, 3, and 5); however, I've always got time for some quick fun. We're rounding up the top 3 stories of the day in the following format: story, impact, opinion. We're going to try to stay under one sentence for each thing so 9 sentences total. So let's get moving. It's all you need to know in under 10 sentences.

#1 Story: Last night, a AA Baseball Manager, Mike Coolbaugh, was struck by a ball while standing in the first base box and was killed.
Impact: It should be simply viewed as a tragedy, but I'm sure someone (Woody Paige) will want to ban wooden bats now too or put nets around the base boxes.
Opinion: It's simply tragedy and should remind everyone to pay attention if they are in a possible path of a baseball.

#2 Story: My main man, Mike Decourcy, says Kobe Bryant is still acting like he is playing with Kwame Brown at the US team tryouts.
Impact: Kobe Bryant's teammates are going to be none to pleased if he does not change his ways sowing problems for the future.
Opinion: If he does not adjust to playing with other good players in the next couple of games my opinion of him will be lowered (I'm always kind of in neutral with him).

#3 Story: The NBA had their own suspicions about disgraced referee Tim Donaghy up to a year ago when they put a private investigator on his tail.
Impact: It shows the NBA was not completely caught off guard and was to police themselves but failed to find a way to act quickly enough.
Opinion: They must have had trouble generating enough evidence if this went on for so long while the NBA had an idea it was occurring.

That's it. 9 sentences. We're done (I am using to many contractions in my writing today).

By July 24th

2007-07-23T00:32:00.000-04:00

I have a non-secret topic article set-up for tomorrow. It won't shatter the earth, but I think it will be an informative, enjoyable read.

Other than that, expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.

In other news, it may be a little slow here until the secret topic is completed. Trust me when I say I am literally working myself to death. I feel like crap.

So in the spirit of the show I watched during my 20 minute break from the secret topic, I'm out on this...

Somene Please Explain This To Me...

2007-07-22T19:09:00.000-04:00

Imagine your a highly competitive NBA team that has failed for 3 years to get over the hump and make an NBA finals appearance.

Your two biggest weaknesses are your financial situation and your interior defense.

You have come extremely close to the title in the past year with your current team. Maybe you were only stopped corrupt game fixing officials or difficult league rules.

With that being the case, how should you spend your off-season? Doing whatever you can to finally get over the hump without completely compromising your team and financial future hopefully.

What did they actually do though? First they sold off one of their first round picks for cash. Then they drafted 6 foot tall power forward Alando Tucker with their other.

Alright, you've kept from committing to a very small future financial burden congratulations. It definitely did not make your team any better. So whats your next move?

Or it could be to trade what interior defense you do have to save money while giving up future unprotected draft picks to do so as they choose to do. But hey, they got a second round pick in next year's draft in return.

If the next move they make is not to take the trade exception they received and bring in another elite player making all of these moves simply cost cutting measures before a spending spree then this is completely insane. If some future Hall of Famer does not walk through that door soon, then it will be clear that this man would rather have a few millions dollars than an NBA championship.

I always like to think that if I was rich enough to buy a pro sports team I would be rich enough not to mind losing 10 million a year running my club. But if this situation plays out the wrong way, then it will become all the more clear that most of the NBA billionaires would take the money and run. This makes me love Mark Cuban.

Good Vick Hunting

2007-07-22T11:12:00.000-04:00

In you have not heard the most recent development in the Michael Vick case, the Falcon's QB has entered hiding because of threats made against his life by the great and powerful Senator Robert Byrd.

He's a bad, bad man.

According to a Fox News report Senator Byrd has the following to say about the Vick dog fighting case:

The Michael Vick dogfighting case made its way to the floor of the U.S. Senate Thursday when its most senior member publicly declared his outrage, saying he's witnessed one execution but wouldn't mind seeing another "if it involves this cruel, sadistic, cannibalistic business of training innocent, vulnerable creatures to kill."

Personally, I prefer that my US Senator does not threaten the death penalty on people who's crimes cannot even carry a 10 year prison sentence, but hey, whatever his state is down with.

Never go here.

It's tough to feel sorry for a person like Michael Vick (Innocent until proven guilty...), but I know that it can't be any fun having members of Congress calling for your death from personal experience (I used some mean "Yo Momma" jokes on Mitch McConnell).

His Mother is a saint.

The only way I can possible see this entire situation ending well is with a steel cage tag team match featuring Robert "The Executor" Byrd and Charlton "Dirty Ape" Heston against Ice-T and Dog Fighting Don Vick.

The First Commandment? Though Shalt Kick Ass.

By July 23rd

2007-07-21T23:19:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow will be another slow day here at the Sports Tome. I'm still hunkered down trying to gain as perfect a grasp on the concept I am currently working on for this week as possible. I am not sure when it will be done although Monday through Friday will have articles none the less.

There should be a few small updates throughout the day tomorrow before we kick it into high gear again on Monday, so make sure you stop by.

So in the spirit of the only thing I did between racking my brain trying to figure out my still unrevealed topic, I'm out on this...

Did Someone Say Exhausting

2007-07-21T17:57:00.000-04:00

Describing the awesomeness of my current research working out is almost impossible. I don't want to talk about it at all until it is completely done, but I have no problem complaining about the work it is taking. I have spent about 3 hours today so far and I would not fell comfortable saying I am anymore than 20% done just gathering and processing the data the first time through. If it was not for such a worthwhile cause I would just quit and go do something more fun. The only thing keeping me going in online 80's radio and thinking about how great a good result would be.

You, the reader, don't come here to hear my moan about what it takes to do a job a volunteer to do, so in the spirit of finding something fun we have to quickly break down a subject that demands it. The state of my Cincinnati Reds (a baseball story holy crap!).

When I was 4 years old the Cincinnati Reds were the World Series champions led by my brother's boyhood idol.

(This poster is on his wall still)

Over the last 16 years though, the team has slowly faded into completely irrelevance as their roster has gone through all sorts of constant changes.

Bust a flow for us Deion.

Even just a few years ago, it looked liked the reds had finally figured it out with Adam Dunn, Austin Kearns, and Ken Griffey forming a dominant outfield.

Where is your pot belly Dunn, you ask.

That of course never worked out as Kearns failed to develop enough and was traded, Dunn couldn't stop striking out, and Griffey never really regained his old form.

He still gave us one of the greatest decades ever.

This year started out as many have over the course of the last two decades. Dead on Arrival.

Narron busy coachin' em up (or making vacation plans).

Within the last month or so, there has been a glimmer of hope though as the team is playing better under a new manager and brought up elite pitching prospect Homer Bailey.

Manager or Baily: You Decide!

Will this streak of good fortune keep going for my childhood squad? The statistician in my says no, but the hopeful fan in my of course says yes. So, remember this just in case they're the world series champions again in a few years now, so I can revel in it all day without the dreaded band wagon fan status. No matter how bad it gets, if the last 16 years have proven anything, I will always like my team's pants a primary color, their location Cincinnati, and their relief pitchers nasty.

Flying Facts Batman!

2007-07-21T15:01:00.000-04:00

It's Saturday, a day of rest here at The Daily Sports Tome; however, that doesn't mean that our audience does not deserve a healthy does of daily random facts to tide them over through what is (hopefully) a day off from them as well. To provide this service, we turn to the top Internet source on all things random, Wikipedia. Its time to learn 5 things you probably never knew before:

(Note: All entries are pulled directly from some Wikipedia page)

#1 Mike Shanahan was an undersized quarterback at Eastern Illinois University in the 1970s before a hard hit on the practice field ruptured one of his kidneys, nearly killing him.

#2 Steve Young is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and is a direct descendant of Brigham Young.

#3 Steve Young signed a record 10-year, $40 million contract with the Los Angeles Express of the now-defunct United States Football League in 1984. He agreed to take his payment in the form of an annuity to help the fledgling team; he would receive $1 million every year for 40 years. The league ceased operations in 1986 after losing most of its claims in an antitrust suit against the NFL. Young was still being paid his annuity as of 2005.

#4 Like many other NFL teams located in subtropical climates, the Tampa Bay Bucs traditionally wear their white jerseys at home during the first half of the season — forcing opponents to suffer in the darker colors during the hot summers and autumns in Tampa. Additionally, the visitors' bench of Raymond James Stadium is located on the east side of the stadium, which is in direct sunlight for 1:00 games. The west sideline is in the shade.

#5 Lou Holtz had the names removed from the backs of the player's jerseys when he took over at Notre Dame, wanting to emphasize team effort. Except for the 1988 Cotton Bowl against Texas A&M, names have not been included on Notre Dame's team jerseys ever since.

Those are just the facts, mam.

A Few More Reviews

2007-07-21T09:15:00.000-04:00

A few more reviews have been released concerning NCAA Football 08. Let's get to them.

Gamespot - 8.0 (Xbox 360)

IGN - 8.0 (Xbox 360)

I also have been neglectful in mentioning that Visual Concepts has revived their 2K Football Engine (minus an NFL license) to release All-Pro Football 2K8 this week. It's reviews are not turning out as well as those for NCAA Football:

1-up.com - 6.5 (Xbox 360)

Gamespot - 7.5 (Xbox 360/PS3)

Game Informer - 8 (Xbox 360)
I can't review it myself because I don't own a next generation console, so you won't get any rant from me about its quality. All I know is that NFL 2K for Dreamcast was the greatest football game ever made (as long as no one played with the unstoppable Minnesota Vikings).

By July 22nd

2007-07-20T23:45:00.001-04:00

First of all, I big thanks to everyone who linked to my site today. Without you, there would not have been any sort of record setting going today for The Daily Sports Tome.

Seeing as how tomorrow begins the weekend, the next two days should not have any sort of large article up for your perusal as I like to use that time to relax and get some of the research for the coming week done.

There should be a few smaller updates throughout the day though concerning various things (maybe a Blog-A-Beastie). I'm working out of the house in the morning so nothing may happen until after noon.

So in the spirit of the game I spent the night playing outside with my family, I'm out on this...

Top 5 Things This Gambling Ref Was Thinking

2007-07-20T21:48:00.000-04:00

"Carry the 1, multiply by 2, oh crap, foul on Rasheed!"

"I'm glad gambling always turns out well for employees of professional sports leagues."

"Wonder Twin Powers Activate!"

"Maybe Don Vito was talking metaphorically about concrete shoes..."

"Lol, that guy is where a Female Body Inspectors T-shirt. I think."

Oh, Wouldn't It Be Nice!

2007-07-20T17:16:00.000-04:00

Today may have been the greatest day ever on The Daily Sports Tome. I broke every hit record by any conceivable measure. Hopefully, everyone (including you who is currently reading this) who read today will be back in the future. Thanks, for the support.

On more important (not self-important) matters, PTI is 10 minutes from coming on and its time for a bit of PTI factual knowledge before the show arrives.

#1 Kornheiser says, "Goodnight Canada", at the end of the main PTI show b/c our neighbor to the north does not see the last segment which is now part of SportsCenter

#2 Wilbon's new four year contract as an ESPN employee averages about 2 million dollars per year.

#3 Wilbon is not a member of the Kornheiser's bald brotherhood. He likes to say he is shaved.

#4 When PTI first started airing, there was a Sunday night version.

#5 As anyone watching the last couple of days knows, no one on the show can do a proper British accent.

T-Minus 35 minutes until Dan Le Batard is hopefully gone from PTI forever.

Side Panel Revamp

2007-07-20T13:04:00.001-04:00

I'm working on revamping everything that is found on the side panel of this site. So far I have added a small section to make it easier to subscribe to this blog's RSS reed, moved a few things up and down, and attempted to make the Daily Quick Links reflect more of the sites I am actually frequenting.

Hopefully this will help improve the overall quality of the Sports Tome experience.

Its go to know they thought alot of their previous product's quality.

Predicting the NFL: Part #2

2007-07-20T11:29:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, we examined a means to determine of many games a team will win in a given season. We found that by using the Pythagorean Method or a team's point differential we could tell a team's record with an accuracy of about plus or minus one win. Both of those methods simply required finding how many points a team scored in a given season and how many points they gave, then performing a quick calculation with that information. Today, we are going to look a little deeper into the numbers that were found in the process of developing yesterday's article and see if we can find any other interesting nuggets from them. So without further, ado, lets get moving with a top 10 fact find:

1. Over the course of the last 10 years, 5 teams (04 New England Patriots, 02 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 99 St. Louis Rams, 98 Denver Broncos, 97 Denver Broncos) have the Super Bowl during the year where the posted the highest point differential in the league. This means that by the recent past data on the NFL, simply picking the team with the largest point differential to win the Super Bowl next year should give you a 50/50 chance at being correct.

2. The only team to average over 400 points scored over the last 10 seasons is the Indianapolis Colts making them the best offensive by that measure over the last decade. There average score of 407.2 points per season was substantially higher than their next closest competitor, the St. Louis Rams, who came in with an average of 396.5 points per season.

3. There were 3 teams over the course of the last 10 years who were able on average to give up less than 300 points for a season: the Miami Dolphins (296) , the Baltimore Ravens (279), and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (273.3). Tampa Bay, despite having only one winning season in the last four still played well enough on defense to be the best overall of the decade by this measure.

4. Only two teams in the last 10 years have won the Super Bowl while leading the league in scoring: the 97 Denver Broncos and the 99 St. Louis Rams. Both of these teams also played excellent defense as shown by the fact they both surrendered under 290 points for their championship season.

5. Only three teams in the last 10 years have won the Super Bowl while leading the league in defensive points allowed: the 00 Baltimore Ravens, the 02 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 03, and the New England Patriots. None of these teams had a top five offense in the season they won their championship, and none of them scored over 350 points during the season on offense.

6. During the course of the last 10 years, there has overall never been a large shift in the number of points scored total by the league. While there have been a few anomaly years (in 02 and 04 scoring suddenly jumped into the 340 range per team), the total average amount of points scored per team has hung around 330 points per season over the course of the last 10 years.

7. If you take the equation used in part #1 of this series, a team should win 0 games in a season if they can manage to be outscored for the year by 285 points or approximately 18 points per game. On the other hand, a team should be win their complete schedule if they can outscore their competition for the year by 285 points or approximately 18 points per game. To be that bad would require something worse than the NFL has ever seen as no one has approached being that horrible in the last 10 years. To be that good would make a team the 99 St. Louis Rams, who won 13 games despite have a point differential of 284 points for the season (no one else came close to them in that respect).

8. The team which managed to post the worst average point differential over the last 10 years was the Arizona Cardinals at -113.8 points per season. The only competitors for their crown at over 100 points less than their opponents were the two expansion teams that did not play the whole decade (Cleveland Browns, Houston Texans). The team with the best point differential over the last team years is the Denver Broncos at an average of 84.6 point per season. There next closest competitor is barely even close with the New England Patriots finishing at 65.1 points per season.

9. When associating offense with the number of wins a team has per season there is a resulting R^2 value of .5448. When association defense with the number of wins a team has per season there is a resulting R^2 value of .489. This means that according to the last 10 years of data, there is more of an association between winning game and offense than there is winning games and defense; however, neither of the associations are very large meaning that neither offense nor defense alone is an effective predictor of team success.

10. Going by the equations generated when comparing offense to wins, a team would need to score 579 points (36.2 per game) in order to win 16 games in a season. To lose 16 games it would need to score only 89 points (5.6 per game) for the year. Going by the defensive equation, a team would need to give up only 116 points (7.2 per game) in order to go undefeated. To lose every single game they would need to surrender 552 points per game. None of those values calculated high or low have been reached in the last 10 years.

So there we have it, ten interesting tidbits we can pull out of the big hunk of data that was gathered. There are many more which can be found, but those will have to be saved for another time (If I do them all now, I'll be out of a job and quiet tired). If any reader has an interesting fact related to this type of subject feel free to e-mail me at tmx117@gmail.com and if its up to par I can report it here and give you all the beautiful credit. Until then, remember when your doing synthetic division to place in zero values when the exponents are not decreasing in order by one (Yes! I managed to make my "I'm out" statement more obscure).

A cryptic preview of Monday's likely article

NEWS FLASH!

2007-07-20T10:27:00.000-04:00

You know how Bill Simmons and Mark Cuban are always complaining about how referees in the NBA are so horrible?

There may be a reason for it. According to a NY Post article this morning there was an NBA who for the last two years worked with mob connected bookies to help influence the results of games. I'm sure you do not need me to explain what all of this means to the sport (although a 100,000 other writers will feel the need to and I probably should somewhat if I didn't want to use my time for other subjects).

Give The People What They Want

2007-07-20T10:09:00.000-04:00

I was thinking this morning, "What is it people like looking at/reading about in the morning?" From my past experience I know the ladies always get good results (especially official Blog Girl Jenna Jameson).

I, however, was struggling to figure out a reasonable topic to put up, until I stumbled upon the work of a man known only LetsGoJets over at ArmChairGM.com where I have been dual posting alot of my articles. This man has apparently dedicated his life to identifying the finest women in every athletic pursuit known to man. His most recent effort, Hottest Female Athletes (One For Each Sport), is one of the crowning achievements in mankind's history. When historians record what man was about it will be fire, computer, list of hot female athletes.

While many of the entries feature extremely well known female athletes, there are probably some you have never heard of like Lokelani McMichael.

and Kristi Leskinen.

Particularly interesting though, was the inclusion of Jennifer Tilly, who apparently is a really good poker player. You may remember her as the evil single mother from Liar Liar.

All of the stuff he has done is worth looking over, just so you have some factual knowledge of the subject....

As for me, I'm going to go see if I can find him a medal.

By July 21st

2007-07-19T22:54:00.000-04:00

I am hoping that tomorrow's column will bring about 10 good observations from all of the data that I gathered for today's article. It should happen. I don't see any reason why it won't currently.

Other than that, expect the usual updates as things happen or are discovered.

So in the spirit of the complete show series that I just completed piling a massive listing on, I'm out on this...

Ever Seen An E3 Hangover?

2007-07-19T22:42:00.000-04:00

It's not pretty and it's not police lingo. It's what happens when all the finely tuned athletic specimens known as video game writers return from E3 and finish filing all their reports that justify their expense accounts. Afterwards, they apparently enter a catatonic state where they do no work. That is the only explanation for the slowness of the NCAA Football 08 reviews going online on all of the major sites. It used to be many of them went up shortly before the game's midnight release, but now apparently with the E3 date change that is out of the window. This is what I've gathered so far:

IGN - 8.1 (Xbox/PS2)

GameDaily - 8 (Xbox 360)

1up.com - 8 (Xbox 360)

Game Informer -8 (Xbox 360)

I think it is very telling that there are no PS3 reviews out considering it is considered the inferior next gen edition. According the the 1up.com review, EA refused to send them a copy of the game for PS3. Sounds like someone is trying to avoid a very negative review til after all the midnight buyers have already plunked down their cash.

Give Them Some Dap!

2007-07-19T15:58:00.000-04:00

In honor of our my two favorite blathering sports writers, I present the top 3 photos on Google image search of Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon.

Tony Kornheiser

#3 The Styler and Profiler

#2 The Honest Man
(a great book by the way)

#1 The Tiny Dancer

(Its a moving picture)

Michael Wilbon

#3 The None for J.A. Adande

#2 The Office Mac Daddy

#1 The Happy Man

That's it! I win! Picture Posting is 100% over. Was it good for you?

Predicting the NFL: Part #1

2007-07-19T12:42:00.000-04:00

Over the course of the last couple weeks, I have been collecting data concerning the last 10 years of the NBA in order to find a good means of predicting a team's win total for a season. With much of that laid to rest, I began to wonder how the things that were discovered in the NBA would work when applied to another professional sports league, the NFL.

My goal with this study is to determine a method for accurately predicting a teams win and loss record for a season based on simple statistics that can be pulled from any sport's reference site. In order to limit the scope of the study, I choose to take the two methods that I found most effective in the NBA and apply them as best as I could to the NFL using the last 10 years results for every team as my sample. The two methods that will be used as predictors to be tested are the Pythagorean method and the point differential equation method.

The first method we will be using, the Pythagorean Method, is based on a time tested equation developed by many of the forefathers of sport's statistical analysis. What is basically states is that a team's win percentage will be about equal to

(Points Scored)^X/((Points Scored)^X+(Points Surrendered)^X)

where X is a variable that changes depending on what sport is being tested. In order to get the best results possible and since there is not a current accepted number for professional football that has undergone rigorous testing, we will determine X ourselves during the study by allowing it to be the number which gives the best overall result. During the NBA study, this method proved slightly less accurate but slightly more precise then our next method of testing.

The point differential equation method is developed by taking all the point differentials for all of the teams over the last 10 years and graphing them against the number of wins each of the given teams had. Once that is down a linear relationship will be found inside the data as best as possible, and the resulting linear equation will be used to predict, based on the data, how many wins a team should have for a given point differential. We will find this equation ourselves during the course of the study and then use it to test our data. Using this method in the NBA study, the results were slightly more accurate but slightly less precise. Overall, neither of the methods was found to be significantly better than the other in any real way.

With all or points and win totals in the spreadsheet, the first step that was taken was to create the graph which would provide for us the linear relation we will use for the point differential method. The graph turned out as below:

Our resulting linearization of the data produced an equation that stated Wins=.0281(Point Differential)+8.005 with an R^2 value of .8435 (the NBA's was about .93 so the NFL's is slightly less of a good fit, but it is still a decent fit). With this equation in the hand, we can now predict how many games each team over the last 10 years should have won based on their point differential.

Using the point differential equation, over the last 10 years the average prediction for a team's win total was off by .976 wins. Basically this means that normally an 8-8 team would be predicted in the range of 7-9 to 9-7 which is very good for simply using one number to predict the entirety of team success. Even one blowout of demolishing of a team could skew the numbers up or down so it is very difficult to expect more than we received from this data test. Precision wise, the entirety of the data came out with a standard deviation of .827 wins which means that is was very precise data. With these numbers in mind, we must view the Pythagorean results to see if these are the cream of the crop or if it is just a less substitute when a better method is not available.

With all of the data in the spreadsheet and it set to create the complete average of all of the results, I began to adjust the exponent until I got the best results possible. After all the adjusting was done the best exponent came out to be 2.6, which resulted in an average win difference of .965 wins per team, which is just slightly better than our result using the other method. Its standard deviation was also better than that of the other method as it came in at .708 wins which was about .1 wins better than the point differential method, so it is more precise than the other method. With all of this data in mind, does the fact that the results came in this way really mean that the Pythagorean Method is superior the point differential method?

In my opinion based on seeing the data and the difficulty of doing the work to find each of the results, I would give a very qualified yes. Pythagorean came out to be the more accurate and precise method over the last 10 years even when the data is divided into the first and last 5 years of the study. The point differential was the best measure in only 4 of the 10 years and always by extremely thin margins (in 1 measure they were better by one one thousandth), whereas many times the Pythagorean method was better by up to .3 wins. In simple data measurement, though, point differential cannot necessarily be statistically shown to be an actually worse method within margin of error, but the last little bit that pushed it into the yes territory is the work required to find it. Finding the exponent takes all of 1 or 2 minutes if you have set your spreadsheet up correctly and once that is found it is easy to test more future and past numbers in it. The point differential method requires some additional spreadsheet set-up and requires graphing, which simply takes up more time as well. In addition, the Pythagorean method is simpler to remember as the non-exponent part and one number, the exponent, that must be memorized are both very simple. On the other hand, the linear equation while not hard to remember in its form involves two longer decimals to remember. Its not a huge deal, but if you are quickly trying to get calculations done, Pythagorean is quicker and according to what we have unsignificantly proven, more accurate.

In conclusion, what the data does conclusively show is that both of these methods are extremely effective at taking a singular statistical measure (or two, depending on how you read it/counted it) and predicting how a team's season will turn out. There may be ways to adjust these numbers to come up with a statistically better method of predicting their win total, but I have not happened upon it yet as I have worked. If anyone reader has found a better method and would like to talk about it here/tell me about it and let me talk about it, drop me a line at tmx117@gmail.com and tell me all about it. Tomorrow, I will delve deeper into the current numbers to come up with a list of numerous observations that can be made from it, but until then, don't forget to carry the one (HAHA! not funny at all).

(Note: If you have an interest in playing with the numbers I used for this study, the exact spreadsheet I used is available here.)

Top 5 Things Michael Vick Was Thinking

2007-07-19T10:35:00.000-04:00

"And now entering the field, standing 6 foot 1 inch, the don of dog..."

"Michael wishes dog fighting had a good number, I don't even shoot dice anymore."

"Maybe Michael should invest in some football gear for Barks Ali."

"It's time to make like my favorite stud, and hit the endzone."

"Who knew electrocuted dog smoked so much?"

The Daily Quickie (Go Go Old Page 2 References!)

2007-07-19T10:18:00.000-04:00

The following is the first in a series of videos made about the newest competitive sport, Out Running Cops On Dirt Bikes and Getting Them Run Over With Trains. Best line of the entire thing is, "Oh, I'm in trouble...."

By July 20th

2007-07-18T23:12:00.000-04:00

I do not see a reason why at some point tomorrow I cannot get the NFL win-loss prediction column up on the site. It likely will not be in the morning. Think more around 4 or 5 O'clock depending mostly on if I finish up all the numbers tonight. I may just throw all the data out there and go through the straight forward things tomorrow then save some of the other possible things that can arise from the data from Friday's column. By the time I get to Friday every week I think back and wonder how the hell I came up with 4 previous well thought out ideas and just give up and start talking about a random sports subject that needs to be discussed more deeply. I suppose I can just take that will blab and save it for another time though.

Other than that, expect a few small updates here and there and things happen or are discovered. It may be a little slower than today because of getting a more fully formed article up and my business, but I should be another fun (opinion held by vary few) day around these parts.

So in the spirit of the song that should have been the #1 song of the 80's on the VH1 countdown I watched tonight, I'm out on this...

Oh, And You Didn't Know...

2007-07-18T22:38:00.000-04:00

(Your A** (G rating!) better call somebody!). Old late 90's wrestling references aside, it is time to gather up the final news of the day and report it you before I pass back into the one place in my life that always leaves me coming back for more, sleep. It's going a little differently this time around though. Modern news is so yesterday (along with my references/mannerisms/means of speaking). Were going with the top 10 things I found about our nation's great sporting past on Wikipedia today. Let's get moving.

(Note: All of factual entries are pulled directly from Wikipedia, they are not my work, but hey, there not copyright either. On On Lazy!)

#1 In 1955, Wilt Chamberlain became a player for the Kansas Jayhawks freshman team under future Hall-of-Fame coach Phog Allen. In those days, freshmen could not compete with the varsity squad. In Chamberlain’s debut game for the freshman squad, the freshman Jayhawks were pitted against the varsity Jayhawks, who were favored to win their conference that year. Chamberlain dominated his older college mates by scoring 52 points (16-35 from the field, 10-12 on free throws), grabbing 29 rebounds and registering four blocks.

#2 In the 1956 NBA Draft, Boston Celtics coach Red Auerbach had set his sights on Russell, thinking his defensive toughness and rebounding prowess was the missing link the Celtics needed. In perspective, Auerbach’s thoughts were unorthodox. In that period, centers and forwards were defined by their offensive output, and the ability to play defense was secondary.^[14] However, the chances of getting Russell seemed slim. Because the Celtics had finished second in the previous season and the worst teams had the highest draft picks, the Celtics had slipped too low in the draft order to pick Russell. In addition, Auerbach had already used his territorial pick to acquire talented forward Tom Heinsohn. But Auerbach knew that the Rochester Royals, who owned the first draft pick, already had a talented young rebounder in Maurice Stokes and were unwilling to pay Russell the $25,000 signing bonus he requested.^[7] The St. Louis Hawks, who owned the second pick, originally drafted Russell, but were vying for Celtics center Ed Macauley, a six-time All-Star who had roots in St. Louis. Auerbach agreed to trade Macauley if they gave up Russell, and after the Celtics also agreed to give up rookie Cliff Hagan, the Hawks made the trade. During that same draft, Boston also claimed guard K.C. Jones, Russell's former USF teammate. Thus, in one night, the Celtics managed to draft three future Hall-of-Fame players (and, in time, three NBA championship winning coaches): Russell, K.C. Jones and Heinsohn.

#3 Michael Jordan attended Emsley A. Laney High School in Wilmington, where he anchored his athletic career by playing baseball, football, and basketball. He tried out for the varsity basketball team during his sophomore year, but at 5 feet 11 inches (1.80 m), he was deemed too short to play at that level. The following summer, however, he grew four inches (10 cm)^[2] and trained rigorously. Upon earning a spot on the varsity roster, Jordan averaged 25 points per game over his final two seasons of high school play. As a senior, he was selected to the McDonald's All-American Team^[3] after averaging a triple-double: 29.2 points, 11.6 rebounds, and 10.1 assists.^[4]#4 Michael Jordan was close to his father; as a child he had imitated his father's proclivity to stick out his tongue while absorbed in work.

#5 Larry Bird recalled how his mother would make do on the family's meager earnings: "If there was a payment to the bank due, and we needed shoes, she'd get the shoes, and then deal with them guys at the bank. I don't mean she wouldn't pay the bank, but the children always came first." Bird sometimes was sent to live with his grandmother due to the family's struggles. Being poor as a child, Bird told Sports Illustrated, "motivates me to this day."

#6 On November 9, 1984, Larry Bird was ejected along with Julius Erving in the third quarter after an on court scuffle. At the point of both ejections, Bird had outscored Erving 42 to 6. During the game, Bird had continuously informed Erving of their tallies with every chance he got to score. Eventually ensued a shoving match, then swings taken by both players, and finally a bench-clearing brawl.

#7 According to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, he learned the skyhook in fifth grade and soon learned to value it, as it was "the only shot I could use that didn't get smashed back in my face".

#8 After graduating from high school. Shaquille O'Neal attended Louisiana State University (LSU) and studied business. He had first met Dale Brown, LSU's men's basketball coach at that time, years before in Europe. With O'Neal's stepfather stationed on a U.S. Army base at Wildflecken, West Germany, O'Neal attended Fulda American High School, a DODDS school. Upon seeing the 6-foot, 6-inch, 224-pound O'Neal, the visiting Brown reportedly mistook the then-13-year old boy for a soldier.

#9 Shaquille O'Neal, whose mother is a Baptist and stepfather a Muslim, has not formally announced affiliation with a specific faith though in 2002, the Los Angeles Times identified O'Neal as being Muslim (though this was not confirmed by O'Neal) and quoted him as saying, "It's a Muslim thing," with regard to the greetings he exchanged with opposing player Hedo Turkoglu before each game of that year's Western Conference Finals series. The newspaper also quoted Turkoglu as saying that he was not surprised at the gesture from O'Neal "because Muslim people support each other."^[12]

Traditional Muslim Pose

#10 In an attempt to rediscover herself, Hilton imposed a ban on sexual activity for one year starting in July 2006. She told Regis and Kelly: "One-night stands are not for me. I think it's gross when you just give it up. Guys want you more, if you don't just hand it to them on a platter."

One of these things is not like the other (in truth and subject), one of these things just doesn't belong....

NCAA Football 08 Sim Results

2007-07-18T15:25:00.001-04:00

Fresh off bashing most every aspect of the game this morning, I'm back with the results of the 5 seasons of simming that I did while doing other things (Its basically click and wait work). I wasn't doing any sort of comprehensive study. I was just trying to get a good gauge on a few things which I will know be reporting to you, the hopefully EA hating readers of this blog.

The following are the results of each of the national title games and the other teams that finished undefeated in the regular season in the given sim:

Sim 1 - West Virginia - 27 (National Champs) Wisconsin - 20 Boise State - 12-0
Sim 2 - Virginia Tech - 49 (National Champs) Wisconsin - 14 West Virginia - 12-0
Sim 3 - Louisville - 20 (National Champs) Tennessee - 14
Sim 4 - USC -45 (National Champs) Michigan - 21 Louisville/TCU/Boise State- 12-0
Sim 5 - Texas -33 (National Champs) Louisville - 26

So over the course of 5 different simulations we had 5 different national champions and only two teams which made the game twice (UL and UW). UL, WVU, UW, and Boise State were the only teams to have an undefeated regular season more than once with UL leading the way with 3 teams. Take from that what you will because 5 simulations is not really enough to conclusively prove anything especially with it currently showing no truly strong leaning.

Heisman Winners:

Sim 1- Colt Brennan
Sim 2- P.J. Hill
Sim 3- Steve Slaton
Sim 4- Brian Brohm
Sim 5- John David Booty

In the course of 5 simulations we had no consistent Heisman winner.

The only other thing that I charted was how well the good old University of Kentucky Wildcats played each year:

Sim 1- 5-7, No Bowl, No Big Wins, 81-51 Opponent's Combined Record
Sim 2- 7-6, Lost the Petro Sun Bowl, Beat UL and UGA, 81-51 Opponent's Combined Record
Sim 3- 6-7, Won the New Mexico Bowl (glitch), No Big Wins, 83-49 OCR
Sim 4- 6-7, Won the New Orleans Bowl (glitch), No Big Wins, 83-49 OCR
Sim 5- 7-6, Lost the Autozone Liberty Bowl, Beat UT/Arkansas, 83-49 OCR

So overall UK had a record of 31-33 which averages out to be for a single year to be 6.2-6.6 or about 6-7 which is only possible in this case because UK made two bowls at 5-7, they never finished 6-6. There schedule was almost monstrously difficult as each year the teams they played accounted for over 80 wins not counting the 1-AA school they played at the beginning of the year, there win totals are not counted.

That's all I tracked. If anyone is interested in any particular thing I can run some more, just drop me a line at tmx117@gmail.com. Until then, I'm out.

This Is Must See YouTube...

2007-07-18T15:10:00.000-04:00

The following video is hilarious and relevant. Unlike most of the jokes I enjoy making. It involves everyone's favorite dog fighting don and the story of his rise to fame. Thanks to my buddy Kyle for finding it for me.

NCAA Football 08 (PS2) Review: EA's Shame

2007-07-18T10:23:00.000-04:00

What is the defining characteristic of almost any computer program that is allowed to be released before it is ready? Glitches, Bugs, and Errors. Both big and small. Both those effecting gameplay significantly and those simply annoying. With the release of NCAA Football 08 for the PS2 this week EA has effectively said that quality control is for the next generation of consoles. They are done trying putting any effort into the version of the game available to the biggest percent of the world's population. A number of inexcusable bugs, poor game balancing, and a complete disregard for the consumer have come together in EA's new effort to prove that they are not a company willing to put aside their release dates and quotas in order to sell a quality product.

The best way to describe the game is it to a walk through the first few hours of gameplay and point out how many problems were found just in that time frame that any amount of play testing before release should have found. First of all, when you load up a new dynasty game it asks who you would like to redshirt for the coming season, but here is the catch. The computer never bothers to remove the players you have redshirted from the depth chart, so if you redshirt you starting QB in your depth chart he can play the entire season without losing any eligibility. That is a game breaking bug. They took the time to finally add in medical redshirts, something that should have been done 5 years ago because it is so simple, but then allowed this horrible mistake to leak into the game. This fact has to make me believe that there was not really any play testing on the dynasty mode as this error should have been caught within the first hour of gameplay by any tester worth anything. For a console release where problems cannot be fixed through a patch, this glitch alone immensely lowers the quality of the product by ruining a significant portion of strategy in one of the most important game modes. The only option for the user is to manually remove them all from the depth chart themselves. It's doable, but it is highly aggravating and does not make EA's error any more excusable.

Moving right along in the new pre-season training modes that they have finally added to help improve your players based on your own abilities I number of other glitches/problems came about. First of all, there is a speed drill that basically enables you to take any player with a speed of 80 and by the time they are a senior give them 99 speed. I'm sure the game will be really well balanced with a QB or MLB with 99 speed who was already a 5 star player. Just a horrible job of not thinking ahead on EA's part there.

I moved on to working on my DB's in pass skeleton after making my 270lb now have 90 speed, but I could not make him any better because I was penalized on the points I could score based on the QB completing passes even though they were in the flat and the only man I was allowed to control was playing the deep middle. Was there no tester pointing this problem out to the programmers of this mode?

I then moved on to working on my punt returner, but it was kind of hard to get him any better because the computer still refuses to catch the ball inside the 10 yard line despite the fact that I get no points for it bouncing into the endzone. With the view imposed on the user during the punt return mini-game it is imperative that the computer assists in helping to find and catch the ball, so this bug is a game killer. How this was not caught in "testing" is beyond me.

After dealing with all the numerous drills most of which I either was able to dominate or do nothing in, I actually played a game. The first match-up was me (University of Kentucky) versus the CPU (Northwestern). I got a quick chuckle out of the fact that the game refers to both teams as the wildcats so the commentary made no real sense (I'm not going to complain about that problem though), but then I quickly went into the mode I've gone into the last 7 years of playing the game. Completely ignoring the commentary all together because as always it is repetitive, boring, obvious, and adds next to nothing to the game's fun factor (It refereed to my 4 year starting QB as a young, developing player). Ignoring the commentary did not cause me any pains, but when I began trying to play offensive the pain became great.

Running the ball without a completely stacked team is virtually impossible in this game. Even against extremely poor teams and a 90+ running back I struggled to run the ball, not from a lack of skill, but because I was constantly being hit 2 or 3 yards behind the line of scrimmage or having my linemen driven back into me. The only cure for this I suppose it trying to tweak all the sliders for difficulty myself, but I do not pay money for a game so that I can balance it for them (even adjusting sliders is not a percent solution either). Meanwhile, the CPU seems to have no problem running the ball as backs big and small all act like Earl Campbell junior by simply shoving defensive linemen out of the way and trucking right through linebackers. They finally added the madden hit stick to NCAA, but it won't do the user much good if even a 160lb acts like Jerome Bettis. This problem, more than any other, is a game ruiner. Not being able to have any shot at a running game with the average team when running is 50% of the gameplay is simply inexcusable. It is shameful to release a game with this sort of balancing issue.

Meanwhile, when it comes to the passing game, EA finally made the defensive backs have actual intelligence now, but they did this by making them thermo-nuclear rocket scientists with glue covered hands. Even the bad DB's in this new edition will pick off any errant pass. Meanwhile, even the best WR's seem to drop an inordinate number of passes despite high catch ratings. QB's are also made an endangered species as many times even poor defensive lines simply poor through the O-line as if it was not even there. The passing game is not horrible, but it is in need of further balancing that it obviously did not receive from a company that has no problem screwing over their paying customers.

Defensively, the game basically works within the same constructs that is always has only now with super charged DB's dealing with teams that cannot really run. A truly great combination of factors. It would be nice for the defense, though, if roughing the passer was called such a high percent of the time. Many times I would not even be controlling at all or would have switched off the defender who roughed the passer. Even the CPU is not immune to the problem. In one game alone I experienced 4 roughing the passer penalties while the CPU had 3. Those penalties are in addition to 4 or 5 holding penalties that were called on my team in the same game and are completely beyond my control (0 on the CPU). It was as if no one ever bothered to play test the actual gameplay over at Money Bags Inc.

In the interest of time here are some more horrible flaws that should have been found in play testing:
-The CPU is horrible against their own goaline. I got two safeties in one game because they twice ran reveres inside their own 1 yard line.
-Instead of assigning the correct 1-AA school for teams to play in dynasty, it just picks a random one each time you being play.
-As I simmed through UK's first season multiple times, they twice went to bowl games with a 5-7 record.
-It's not a horrible flaw, but despite the fact that Madden season's have let you save in game for years, NCAA still does not.

All of these problems were found in only one afternoon/night of gameplay, so I would imagine there are many more to be found. They are simply inexcusable individually and a beyond horrible thing to foster on the trusting customer when put all together. This year's release reminds me greatly of how 2K Sports treated their college basketball game this year for the PS2, update the roster and ruin the gameplay. If NCAA Football 08 was nothing more than a simple roster update, as is always joked about EA games, it would actually be better. As it stands now, the game is not worth playing. It was not play tested whatsoever apparently, and it is not fun. EA should be ashamed of allowing this game to be released with the problems it has. It is not even worth discussing any of the other modes (which you probably already know all about) because with gameplay so broken and dynasty mode horribly glitched and problematic, do the other mini-games even matter? I could understand EA put more into the next gen games during this development cycle, but they actually made NCAA Football 08 one of their worst releases in the series for PS2. I didn't expect much, and I was highly disappointed in what I got. If I had to give it a number out of 10. How does a 4 sound?

This article was a little ranty for my tastes. But I am really angry about this.

By July 19th

2007-07-17T23:24:00.000-04:00

I don't think the NFL predicting breakdown is going to be ready by tomorrow. The numbers are coming along, but it is a long process. Once the spreadsheet is all finished though, it shouldn't be more than a day til the article goes up.

Tomorrow should bring though my scathing review of NCAA Football 08 for the PS2. Despite the fact it is out on PS3 and Xbox 360, PS2 is still the most widely owned console in the world, so I feel it the game is still massively relevant (plus, it's all I have). I don't plan on being very kind.

Other than that, expect the usual updates here and there as things happen or are discovered.

So in the spirit of the game that I spent some of my night and some of my night simming while working on other things, I'm out on this....

The Pre-"I'm Out" News Update of the Day

2007-07-17T23:03:00.000-04:00

Before I log off for the night it's time to review the goings on of today, both personally and things that matter. We're going with numbers over bullets tonight. Let's get moving.

#1 If you thought that today's article was at all worthwhile then I suggest you check out this page where I ran into a really nice discussion of NBA PER meaningfulness and everything else NBA stat. I highly suggest to anyone interested in the more complicated side of NBA statistics read every word and link of what went on over there so far. (Ah! I can't think of anything to use as a picture for this....) (I guess I'll just use the official blog bodyguard to ward off angry picture loving people).

Kimbo says, "Sports Tome 4 Life"

#2 Tim Riley makes joke in old column about Michael Vick's dog fighting. Michael Vick gets a federal indictment on Dog Fighting. Coincidence? Absolutely. Old Poppa Goodell is not gonna be happy about this...

Roger Goodell is ashamed of you.

#3 Kobe Bryant is on the list of player's who will be vying to play internationally at the highest level for the US this year. What's the over/under on how long til he demands a trade to Canada? I say 4 Mitch Kupchaks (note: I now measure anything that doesn't bow before Kobe in the unit Kupchaks)

Raja Bell: 2006 NBA Man of the Year

#4 Bobby Petrino has just been found crying in a pool of his own feces and urine while watching old Joey Harrington tape. It is a sad day to see such a strong offensive mind fall so far into despair. His situation is only two weeks from becoming forcing like Da Vinci to work with a 3 pack of restaurant crayons. How does a starting line-up of Michael Jenkins WR, Joey Harrington QB, and 33-year old Warrick Dunn RB sound to you?

Its back to filming Willy Wonka 2: Electric Bogaloo for Petrino.

That's it. What do you expect? 5 newsworthy items. Please....

If You Were Wondering

2007-07-17T15:41:00.000-04:00

If you were wondering why today's article was shorter than normal and why I am worried about getting 2-3 hours of research done for tomorrow's article alone, look no further than the fact that NCAA Football 08 has been released. The reviews are poring in disappointingly very slowly likely because the new and (apparently) horrible E3 was last week. When it was held in May, that show was where most everything that would be in that year's game would be revealed to the public along with Madden. This year? Nothing about either really. The only currently posted review I could find was 1up.com - 8.5/10, where they as expected said to get the Xbox 360 version if you can. EA would not even send them a copy of the PS3 version, which has been considered to be the inferior edition for some time. For one, it runs at half the framerate. For two, it supposedly EA is simply having problems working with the cell processor of the PS3.

If you find any review as you search about the Internet in the next few days send them to me if you would like and I'll post them here. Or heck, write your own and if its not horrible I can post it here. But for now, I must be off. UK's roster is not going to name itself...

NBA Players: Peaks and Valleys

2007-07-17T14:48:00.000-04:00

Like in every other sport, NBA players tend to come into the league, develop their game to a certain peak point, then slowly decline until the point that they decide to retire. That long career arc can be seen many times and is not a subject which needs a great deal of debate currently about its general validity. From year to year, however, how well do player's games hold up? When they reach a peak versus the rest of the league's ability do they decline or continue to improve the next year? That's our question for the day. To limit our scope so this may be covered in a single article (there is alot stuff inherent to this discussion that could be expanded, but I feel there are better issues to talk about in the coming days), we will look at how well over the last 10 years players who finished in the league top 10 in PER (Player Efficiency Rating) fared their next season. So without further ado, let's begin.

Over the course of the last 10 years many great players of the 90's faded away into retirement and others rose to the top of the heap and have now begun their downfall. The average NBA Top 10 PER over this time has lost approximately .62 points from their PER in the following season, meaning they have gotten slightly worse; however, this number is can be very misleading. When player's are posting extremely high PERs (25+ in general) it becomes extrememly hard to continue to improve your performance while there is limitless free fall potential for getting worse. Numerous players had a drop of over 5 PER points from one year to the next for various reasons (Shawn Kemp won the contest with a drop 0f 6.4 points from 99 to 00). Meanwhile very few players were able to post substantial increases in their PER after posting a Top 10 PER the season before (Tracy McGrady went up 5.2 points from one season to the next while in Orlando). This leads to what I feel is an unfair downward skewing which I don't feel represents how they players truly react from one year to the next. There is a way to cure this though.

If we simply add up the total number of people who improved or lowered their PER from one year to the next the result is extremely interesting. 47 players over the last 10 years got worse, 49 got better, 1 stayed the same, and 3 retired or spent much of the year injured (Amare Stoudamire, Grant Hill, and Michael Jordan). What this tells the statistician is that on average about half the players will get better and half will get worse, so trying to predict how well they will play next year is a toss-up on this information alone. It is necessary to look at the more unique circumstances of each player then to truly decide how likely it is they will improve or lose some of their individual ability. The gathered PER numbers can tell us some interesting things besides simply saying whether a player will get better of worse though.

-Michael Jordan was the only player to post a top 10 PER and then retire the next season. When he returned to play for the Wizards his PER dropped over 8 points from his last Bull's season.
-Shaquille O'Neal in a true showing of his dominance was the top PER player for five straight seasons (97-97 to 01-02) before falling behind Tracy McGrady by 1 point in 02-03.
-The Top PER player has only won 3 championships during the last 10 years, all of those championships went to Shaquille O'Neal who posted 30 plus PERs in all of those season, an amazing feat.
-The Top PER player for a given year has only won one MVP, Kevin Garnett in (03-04). The fact that Shaquille O'Neal has never won an MVP award should be a blight upon every writer who votes for the award.
-The Detroit Pistons are the only team in the last 10 years to win an NBA title without a Top 5 PER player in their championship season. Star players do matter.
-One of the most amazing PER feats, something to which no parallel can be drawn, is Lebron James' 28.1 PER in his third season at age 21 (2nd in the league). No player in the last 10 years has come close to posting a PER that good, that young. Tracy McGrady at age 24 posted a 30.1 during his sixth year in the league.

There are a limitless number of observations of the data that can be made, but the one thing that is clear that we set out to determine was that from year to year more variables must be taken into account when determining if a player will improve than if they were really, really good the year before. Age, motivation, team situation, nagging injuries, and athletic potential
all likely play a role (I would like to test this data with some of these factors taken into account, but alas I have not been able to do so yet) in whether a top tier player will continue to improve from year to year. What is clear though is that there is no simple, easy way of making the determination based only on singular past results with any accuracy. It's always nice when things turn out simple, but that usually means that what they tell is not very valuable. If anyone would like to further analyze all these situations just hit up Basketball Reference and drop me a line at tmx117@gmail.com to tell me what you found. Until then, I'm back at the drawing board applying what we learned about the NBA the past few weeks to the NFL for tomorrow.

This is Must See

2007-07-17T10:35:00.000-04:00

Another quick update that I just have to get up because as many eyes as possible have to see it before I head out for awhile. While listening to Bill Simmon's podcast (It's one of my personal favorites to mow lawns to), Jimmy Kimmel, the podcast's guest for the day, brought up the fact that apparently alot of NFL QB's don't like Matt Leinert (I love the guy as a player and as a pop culture figure). Anyway, there was a website discussing that fact that posted the following picture.

I hope her Dad reads this site

It's now my life goal to at some point have someone slightly attractive wear a shirt that says my name followed by slut. It may be a long battle, but until my last breath leaves me I will keep trying. Any volunteers?

Blog-A-Beastie 2.0

2007-07-17T10:06:00.000-04:00

It's time for another round of Blog-A-Beastie where I test the knowledge of someone who knows absolutely nothing about sports, my sister. I'll score her responses based on how accurate they are. Let's get going.

Ken Griffey passes another person on the home run list - "Does he play football?" 0/5 Just Wrong

Yi's chinese team says he will never play for the Bucks - "If hes too good to play on an American team, tell him to go back to Japan." 2/5 Would have been a 3 if she knew her geography

Cory Redding signs the biggest defensive tackle contract ever - "He should give all his money to charity and live on the streets to show how much he cares about global warming and stuff like that. Then he can probably get an endorsement with goodwill and get some money to live on." 2/5 I suppose he should give some money to charity and he probably would get endorsements...

Jason Kendall gets traded to the Chicago Cubs - "Don't the Cubs play in Boston?" 0/5 Again with the geography

Asante Samuel and Lance Briggs don't sign long-term deals - "That's a long question, I don't remember it all." 1/5 It is a complicated issue

Kelly Clarkson's new CD is not selling very well now - "I didn't like American Idol to being with. I think it's stupid." 5/5 Right on the button

Montgomery Flea Market Commercial - *Does the dance and sings the complete song* 5/5 LIVING ROOMS, BEDROOMS, DINETTES, OH YEAH!

Well, it's time to add up today's results and see if the Beastie can out do last week's effort (40% right). Drum Roll Please!

With a grand total of 15 points out of 35 our resident sport's non-expert comes in with a 43%. Congratulations, you've topped last week's effort with a slightly higher F.

Check back next week as she aims to crack the 50% barrier or as it will for henceforth be known as around these parts, the Beastie Line.

By July 18th

2007-07-16T23:20:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow should be another productive weekday on the site as an article I've had in the wings since Saturday should be up. Its not going to rock the world, but I think it will be an interesting read.

Other than that expect the usual things as stuff happens or is discovered.

Until I get fully healed up from my ankle injury the site my be a little slower in updating throughout the day (not by much though) since it takes me more time to do everything not related to being in front of a computer.

So in the spirit of the show I couldn't help but watch when I walked by and it was on, I'm out on this...

They just don't make kid's shows like this anymore... (I feel old)

It's Time! It's Time! It's KIMBO TIME!

2007-07-16T21:36:00.000-04:00

My official blog bodyguard has entered training for his next match against Tank Abbott and he's all business. Now that he knows he has to protect this amazing site (the views expressed here are not those of the general public), the official blog girl (who was named today), and this house (as anyone who has every worn UnderArmor knows). So to anyone thinking of starting a problem with anyone associated with this wonderful little enterprise, Kimbo would like you to view this...

Top 5 Things These Children Were Thinking

2007-07-16T15:36:00.000-04:00

"My gosh! It's the mighty King who brawls in his Palace."

"I wonder what awards this great humanitarian wins in America."

"Maybe I get to eat today?"

"Hail This Saint!"

"Why does the corporate media of America insist on portraying Ronald Artest in such a negative light when his charitable efforts have proven over the... (dies of starvation while Artest eats a BLT)"

The First Official Sports Tome Girl

2007-07-16T15:24:00.000-04:00

It is quite funny how the Internet works. You work hard. You write articles. You make observations. You just try to entertain as best you can. Sometimes though, the most random things influence the success of your website. Say for instance, you wrote a joke column about the future odd couple. And say for instance, in that column you made Jenna Jameson there hot neighbor and included a picture of her. Now let's say Google's spider crawled your site and found that picture then placed it on the first page of her image search. That would generate alot of hits right?

Well, that's what happened to me. Go ahead, click here and see for yourself (unless you want porn make sure your Google safe search is on before you do). I put one picture of her on my site two weeks ago and now I'm getting 5 times the traffic I was before. That is why I am official naming Jenna Jameson the first official Sports Tome Girl (take that G blog rating). Congratulations Jenna. I'm sure its the culmination of all your life's work.

The Picture Which Made Me Famous

Predicting the NBA Part #3

2007-07-16T14:17:00.001-04:00

I never anticipated this growing into a 3 part series, but the information that has been pointed out to me since part #2 and my own wondering has caused this enterprise to expand further out( Part #1 Here/Part #2 Here). In part #2 we found that point differential was an extremely accurate predictor of NBA success based on how the graph looked and its r^2 value, but unbelievable I never bother to do a calculation attempting to find how good it really was versus real results. This made it difficult to defend when over at Arm Chair Gm (where I have been dual posting my last few articles) someone asked why I simply did not test the commonly used Pythagorean Formula (named so because it uses exponents like the Pythagorean theorem) that had been developed over the years for predicting team success. The formula basically states that if you take a team's total points scored to a power and divide it by the sum of their total points to a power and total points allowed to a power then you will get a team's win percentage within an average margin of error. The power that you must take the values to was dependent on the sport as each had a different value which best fit it. So the question for the day is, does this formula derived by past statisticians work more effectively than simply using the point differential linearization equation?

As in part #2, the resulting data sets are so large that there is no effective means to post them on the webpage itself, but every bit of the data I used is available for download as an Excel Spreadsheet here.

First, I set out to test the precision and accuracy of the point differential results using the equation that was developed during part #2. Using that method, over the course of the last 10 NBA seasons the point differential method was off by 2.36 wins per team which is very high degree of accuracy (basically a predicted 42 win team probably would win between 40-44 games). It also came out as a rather precise means of measurement as all of the data combined only yielded a standard deviation of 1.87 wins. Even dividing up the complete data into the last 5 and first 5 years of the experiment, the data is basically the same only varying at the hundredths place in the decimal. With this data in hand, we know that this is an extremely accurate predictor of team success, but without the Pythagorean formula method for comparison we have no way of knowing if it is an inferior product.

When the same point differential data is used in the Pythagorean formula system (the true formula uses total points scored/surrendered instead of per 100, but since we will find the exponent ourselves and they should be in the same basic ratio, this should not matter significantly), the results come out extremely similar to those we found above. After calculating out all of the data through the equation and finding the most accurate exponential predictor (13.231) our resulting average win difference from reality came out to be 2.396 wins per team (basically a predicted 42 win team probably would win between 40-44 games), only the slightest bit more than our other method. It was a smidgen more precise than the other measurement method though with a standard deviations of 1.77 wins. When the data was divided up into the first and last 5 years of the experiment once again, it only began to vary at the hundredths place of the decimal. This data, like the other, proved to be an extremely accurate predictor of NBA team success.

With all of this data in now, can we conclusively say that one method was any better than the other? In terms of how successful the results are, we cannot. Both in precision and accuracy the two methods only varied at the hundredths place of their decimals meaning that for all true uses, they are exactly equal in their abilities (a hundredth of a win is not going to help anyone predict anything). In terms of the effort it takes to make the predictions using the methods, I also do not see a huge difference between the two. The point differential method required me to create a quick graph and copy down an equation to use, but the Pythagorean method required me to test numerous exponents on the data. Both of these methods took a small amount of time with neither requiring more effort or skill than the other. The only possible edge that could be seen in the Pythagorean method is that once the exponent is found, it is simpler to remember its value and the equation it is used than to remember the two values of the linear equation found by point differential, but neither method would tax the brain two greatly.Therefore, it is my belief that neither calculating method is significantly more valid for predicting an NBA team's win total based on their points scored and given up. Additionally, neither is a significantly simpler or quicker means of making that determination.

With that said, the quest for prediction perfection is still far from over. It is my belief that there are ways that this data could be further manipulated to more accurately predict a team's success. I tried a couple quick tests to see if I could affect change in the data, but none provided to be very successful. I tried rewarding teams for having high PER players with a win bonus, which generally slightly improved accuracy but decreased precision. I also tried adjusting the win total based on the points scored vs. surrendered ratio divided by a various numbers, but that was a complete failure. If anyone would like to test any new ideas simply drop me a line at my e-mail tmx117@gmail.com or download the spreadsheet and give it a shot yourself. Once again, the data as always was conclusive in proving one well known fact. If you wanna win the game, score more points than the other team.

(Check Sheet 2 on the spreadsheet for whats coming up later this week)

By July 17th

2007-07-15T23:05:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is Monday so articles start up again after the weekend break. Monday's will be continuation of the NBA predicting series from last week where I add a few new things to the equation and further test the old stuff.

Other than that, expect the usual smaller updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.

So in the spirit of what I spent my night doing around the house due to my injury, I'm out on this...

SportsCenter Top 10 - Remember When...

2007-07-15T15:28:00.000-04:00

Anyone remember how SportsCenter was before they said to find out who was now? Remember when they had time to put together fun to watch sport montages like these....

#1 is one of the greatest lines ever.

At least you knew if you played for Woody Hayes that he wanted to win.

#1 still makes me want to cry.

Today though, were stuck with an ESPN which is more interested in creating stories than reporting stories.

The game where no one wins.

They've just lost their top radio personality as well.

Apparently your mom just flashed him.

And yet, since they have no true competition.

With stars such as John Salley.

They are free to continue to pump to hype whatever it is they want to succeed.

Its like watching backyard football home movies.

I can't begrudge them anything because in the end they are a business.

Anyone want to send me some of these?

But wouldn't it be nice for a station built around sports to not need a separate news channel because they've shifted their purpose so much over the last 10 years.

Featuring (the not funny on TV) DJ Gallo

At least their overlord has some decent programming on their other stations though.

This actually is mildly entertaining.

It Hurts So Bad

2007-07-15T13:05:00.000-04:00

Since 3 plays into playing basketball last night I busted up my ankle so bad that can't even walk, I figured a good short post today would be....

Gruesome Injuries From the Sports World

Imagine how bad this would have been if his weight was above 100lbs.

I believe that is some sort of penalty.

Just a bump on the road of Ohio State finishing one of the best college football games ever.

He tries to stand on that leg b/c?

Probably the most famous NFL injury.

The snap comes before the fall.

Just a real smooth move.

That looks like it would kill you.

He's "hurt".

Time for me to wrap this up. I'm getting delirious from the drugs.

By July 16th

2007-07-14T21:26:00.000-04:00

The Blog-A-Beastie won't be up today because once again the star is nowhere to be found. I know, its just killing you waiting for it....

Tomorrow should be another slow day in terms of postings with everything hitting back into high gear on Monday. I got alot of good research done today some of which builds upon everything that was discussed in terms of NBA wins/losses last week. It should develop into an informative, fun read.

So in the spirit of what I attend to spend my night doing after I make this post I'm out on this...

If this was made with good equipment, writing, and actors this would be hilarious

Its Mid-July

2007-07-14T15:42:00.000-04:00

There are alot of good reviews/notes/news about the new NCAA Football 2008 game which is supposed to come out on Tuesday (even though many people already have it) at maddenmania.com. I always try not to think about it until right before it comes out or I spend 2 weeks lying on the floor crying and checking message boards to see what stores are possibly selling it early. I still only have a PS2, but I still need to get it. Gotta take my UK Wildcats to the National Title behind Andre Woodson, Raphael Little, Jacob Tamme, and Keenan Burton (all 90+). I'm very (very) excited.

Quick Recall

2007-07-14T12:32:00.000-04:00

Anyone remember who the first pick in the 1995 NBA draft was? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

I miss trying to win his money...

Well, if you were unaware it was the immaculate, dominant, unstoppable Joseph Smith (the kid from Maryland not the founder of a religion that went on to form a school that gave us Steve Young).

Remember when KG had decent teammates?

At this point in his amazing career (12.6pts/7.2rebounds per game) Joe is probably best known for being the player who along with Kevin McHale cost the Timberwolves numerous first round draft picks by attempting to circumvent the collective bargaining agreement.

Bill Simmons has to change pants when he looks at this picture.

Today, Joe Smith took a 2 year $10 Million contract to come play for the Chicago Bulls who continue to improve as much as they can despite the fact they wont be great until they get a true low post threat (Eddy "Cheeseburger" Curry wouldn't even count b/c hes slow, cant pass, cant rebound, and could drop dead of heart failure any day now from his medical condition or too much grease).

Skiles told Curry that Dale Davis ate the entire post game spread.

I really see no problem with the Bulls strategy right now because there is no cure to what ales them available for a price to them that would not create so many other problems that having the low post threat would even matter. AKA props to Paxson for picking Noah.

He really looks like a special ed kid here.

But on the Joe Smith front we have to ask, is he the worst #1 overall pick in the last 20 years of the NBA draft? The only other contenders are Danny Manning (1988), Pervis Ellison (1989), Derrick Coleman (1990), Glenn Robinson (1994), Michael Olowokandi (1998), Kwame Brown (2001).

Note that he is not nervous.

Clearly, Joe Smith is not a worse player than all of those players above, but what is more startling is how many "busts" there have been in terms of 1st overall players in the last 20 years. 7 of the last 20 could easily be considered disappoints (for various reasons) to the teams that drafted them which is very surprising considering the circumstances they were picked in. Just proves how much of a crap shoot every single pick in the draft is I guess.

By July 15th

2007-07-14T01:38:00.000-04:00

Its going to be a no article weekend again at the site as I prepare for a quality Monday through Friday, but there should be plenty of small updates the next couple of days.

Look for a blog-a-beastie tomorrow as I meant to one today, but the star wasn't around.

So in the spirit of the place where I spent a good amount of time tonight I'm out on this....

Darko to Grizzlies: The Breakdown Part #2

2007-07-13T19:30:00.000-04:00

I'm to blather on some more about Darko moving onto greener pastures away from a team that will surely not contend for a title in the next 6 years unless Dwight Howard becomes the next Shaq (I can't even talk about the Rashard Lewis signing, it was so self-evidently wrong-headed of Otis Smith to do that trying to explain all the reasons it was so foolish would become a doctoral thesis (I believe a similar paper is what got Chad Ford his college degrees)). So without further ado, and without putting parenthesises within parenthesises anymore today, I bring you Darko to Grizzlies: The Breakdown Part #2 Bullet Style:

Switching Conferences: Darko will be switching to the more dominant conference in the NBA for the first time in his career with this move. The East has had a dearth of true quality big men for many years now while the West has thrived. Moving to the West means more Tim Duncan and Kevin Garnett to guard for Darko and less Jason Collins. So, since his competition will be more difficult, if Darko simply matches his production from last year it will in reality likely mean he has improved since he is performing the same in more difficult circumstances.

Age: He is still only 22 years old. Everyone likes to throw out that Jermaine O'Neal did very little during his early years in the league, but most big men at least show more signs of dominance by this age and league tenure than Darko has. He probably wont hit his prime for another 4 to 5 years, but everyone has to realistic start to think now, how good will his prime end up being if 4 years into the league he is still only this good?

Style of Play: Much of this goes back to part #1 where the team he left and the team he is going were discussed, but with new coach Mark Ivaroni coming from the Suns system the Grizzlies should continue to play uptempo like they did last year (Memphis=7th in pace, Orlando=26th). This should be a good thing for Darko because it will help mask the fact that he still is not even close to being a potent offensive threat by helping to create easy shots from him in transition as his still impressive athleticism will allow him to get up and down the court quickly. If Darko can start the year producing well due to the style of play change, it may help build in confidence in his game which will improve him all-around. His new coach was the big men's coach for the Suns as well so Darko is now being taught by the former tutor for Amare Stoudamire, which can only be a plus.

Motivation: Darko's new contract is nice, but its no where near what he could get paid if he finally developed all the potential that was originally seen in his game. When his new deal ends he will be 25, the perfect age to command top dollar from every team in the league as an elite player. This monetary reason alone should be great motivation for Darko to improve over the next 3 years. Its impossible for me to know how internally motivated he is to reach his ceiling as basketball player because he simply wants to, but as we have seen time and time again during contract pushes, money potential brings out the best in players.

Benefits to Memphis: Memphis made an amazing deal with this singing. They had to trade nothing to get a promising young big man at probably below market rate who in 3 years if he does not develop enough could be traded or if he has developed into a good enough player, signed by Memphis even if they are over the cap. The only way this deal can turn out bad for Memphis is if Darko stops producing at the level he currently is which will likely not happen because of discussion points 1-7.

Losses for Orlando: They now have nothing to show for their trade with the Pistons 2 years ago besides an 8 seed. Instead they now have one of the worst contracts in basketball history which they wanted to badly they completely gave up on Darko. They really better hope Dwight Howard starts posting 27+ PER's or they have a 0% of even coming close to winning any titles in the next 5 years.

Now, b/c I still have many things to get done before the sun goes down, as Tony Kornheiser would say, Good Night Canada.

Darko to Grizzlies: The Breakdown Part #1

2007-07-13T14:07:00.000-04:00

Boom! Were doing this quick and snappy today as we break down as many aspects of the Grizzlies signing Darko to a 3 year $21 million contract. We're going with a bulleted method and my typical overly verbose method of writing will hopefully be 10x as pithy as normal. Let's go.

Darko's Old Situation: At this point Darko's situation with the Detroit Pistons has been so beaten to death that really nothing new can be said about it, but it seems most of the media could care less about what has happened to old #2 during the last two years with the Orlando Magic. Over the last two years he has posted an average PER of 14.5 (slightly below the league average) while playing as the back-up C on a team that was peaking as an 8 seed in the playoffs. He was making about $5 million dollars per year during this time which seems very reasonable for a player of his skill compared to the other contracts for similar players in the league (plenty of players who have worse PERs than Darko got $6 million+ this year despite playing less important positions). On the front line with him was Grant Hill and Dwight Howard, the first at this point a decent scorer and the other an explosive young big man who needs to still develop offensively. The team did not have any great offensive threat so Darko had an opportunity to establish himself, but he never really did so (13.4points/40min last year). He played with one of the best rebounders in the league in Howard, but he still had a decent rebound rate 14.1 considering the circumstances. He also averaged about 4 blocks per 40 minutes last season which is really good especially considering Howard is always looking to block shoots as well. Overall, Darko did not thrive in Orlando where he was paired with an explosive non-scoring big man and a scoring, if not explosive, small forward.

Darko's New Situation: The front court that Darko is joining in Memphis is much different than what he was dealing with in Orlando. In Pau Gasol, Darko gets a potent offensive threat who will command the ball in the low post but will not bring the explosive plays to the court that Dwight Howard does. In Rudy Gay, Darko gets an extremely athletic small forward who can play inside and outside. This is almost the polar opposite of what surrounded Darko in Orlando. In Memphis, Darko will not be given the same opportunities to become a dominant offensive threat, which if he lacks the ability to ever become will be good for him. If Darko peaks as a good defensive C who can shoot decently well and rebound consistently then this will be the perfect situation for him because doing that will be exactly what will help Memphis improve; however, if Darko's ceiling really is like those of his draft mates the situation in Memphis will not lend it to him becoming that dominant player because of who is playing around him. I can't use statistics to prove what a player's ceiling is with any accuracy nor can I claim to have seen him play enough or see enough into the future to know how good he can be. Only time can settle this.

The Contract: For what is described above Darko's contract is perfectly reasonable when compared to the going rate for players of his type. Unlike the ridiculous contracts for Andreas Nocioni, Luke Walton, and Matt Carroll it is only a 3 year deal, so if Darko completely falls apart it will not be too damaging to the Grizzlies future. It is also in the same price range as those other players ($6-7 million per). Darko is even a better deal then those players because he is still only 22 years old and will more than likely continue to improve. He is also a C, which makes him more valuable then almost any other position on the court besides possibly PG.

Part #2 Coming Later Today (I would love to go more in depth and add all the stats but there simply isn't time)

No Time

2007-07-13T13:58:00.001-04:00

No time to chat away right now. Just read this.

By July 14th

2007-07-12T23:45:00.000-04:00

I think that tomorrow is going to be short (meaning not crazy long stat piece like the last couple of days) article on the Darko Milicic signing as I discussed in yesterdays sign-off. Its going to be a busy day so I would not have any reason to make you think to expect it before 8 o'clock tomorrow.

The small updates will be in short supply as well tomorrow since I will be gone much of the day.

This weekend probably wont bring a full article since I prefer to use the time to relax a bit and work on all the research I want to get done so I can do higher quality work Mon-Fri. I have some good stuff in the pipeline I think for next week.

So in the spirit of the show I spent about 40 minutes watching before I got distracted by statistics I'm out on this....

July Is Sport's Sahara

2007-07-12T17:43:00.000-04:00

In my never ending quest to find something original to talk about, inspiration struck during the opening segment of PTI, but then I lost it when Wilbon encouraged a Bull to gorge someone to death. So since I'm at a lose for thought I bring you, random crap not important enough for even its own short post.

Official Pac-Man Tee

The latest fight of the official blog bodyguard, Kimbo Slice

Adrian Peterson has a wet dream

I would love to see someone do this kind of stuff live

This never leaves my car stereo